Unrealistic Reality

Chapter 40: Unrealistic Reality

Nate and I sat in front of each other with smiles on our faces. "How are you?" Nate asked me. I shrugged and laid my head down on his lap.

"I guess I am okay. How are you?"

"I am fine. Again, thank you so much I could live with you. I really need a place to stay." I looked up into his stormy grey eyes and smiled.

"No need to thank me, after all you've done for us, this is the least we could do." I took his hand in mine and closed my eyes.

I could feel his body tense up a bit and opened one eye again. "Is there something wrong Nate?" I asked, concern filling my voice. He didn't look at me, but he kept his eyes trained on the door. At first, he muttered something under his breath, but I couldn't understand him.

"I really don't know what you said. Could you repeat it?" This time, Nate's haunting grey eyes found mine, but tears were hidden in them. I pulled my head up and stared deep into his wide, sad eyes.

"What's wrong?" I couldn't help but squeeze his hand. He looked at our hands who were intertwined with each other and lifted his head again to look at me.

"I like you."

My eyes widened as I looked at him. My mind began to spin with thoughts and questions. Why did he like me? How long did he like me? Why, why did he have to say this right now?

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out of it. I just gaped at him like a fish until I finally closed my mouth and closed my eyes.

"I really don't know what to say Nate." I looked up into his eyes again and the sadness shined through more than ever.

"I know." He muttered. "But I have a confession to make." I raised my eyebrow up questioningly and waited for him to begin.

"I always thought I was gay." Again, I was shocked by his words, but I tried to hide it. "I actually had a relationship with Max." It all made sense now. The first time in the hospital when Max threatened me to help Nate. How they were always together. I could see they loved each other very much, but I never thought it was in a romantic way.

"We did everything together. We shared our fears and our complicated pasts, we were kind of unbreakable. That was until you walked into Criminal Minds." Nate didn't meet my eyes. I looked at him with an intense gaze, but he didn't meet mine.

"I began to fell for you. There was something special about you, something I had never seen with anyone else. I began to doubt my feelings for Max and that caused some great complications between us.

At first, he didn't like you at all, because he knew that you were the cause I was acting so weird. Later on, he saw what kind of girl you were and began to accept you as his little sister. But, Max wasn't gay either. He was bisexual, and he always knew that, while I only discovered it when I met you." He took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes.

"After a while, we both started to develop feelings for you, but decided to let you choose. We broke up, but stayed good friends. In a way, we were both trying to get your attention, until the day you chose Samuel as your lover. We saw that you just liked us as friends, brothers even, but nothing more. We got back together, but our feelings for you stayed." He lowered his head and muttered on.

"When Max offered to blow up Criminal Minds, I was devastated. I begged him not to do it and let someone else die, but all he said was 'Chloe needs me, and I will be there for her.' He was a true friend, but I personally think his feelings got the better of him. That same day he told me this.

'Nate, I will always love you, but I see how much you love her too. With me out of the way, you can finally be happy with her. I wish that it was different, that we were different, but that's just not the way I feel. I am torn between you two, and the best way to make myself happy is to end it like this, knowing I left with a good heart and two best friends to love forever.'" Tears rolled over his cheeks and I shifted closer to wipe them away. I laid my head on his shoulder and the guilt inside of me rose.

I ruined their relationship.

"I am so sorry Nate." I whispered. He shook his head and pulled me closer to him.

"There is no need to be sorry, I just wanted you know this. In the end, it was Max's decision to die. He did it for himself and for his happiness. You don't need to feel guilty for any of this. We figured this all out, and he died in peace. I just wish he was here, to see us being such good friends, because even though I like you, and I know you don't like me, I will never leave your side." I looked up at the ceiling and hoped Max was watching over us.

"I love you too Max. I really do." Although I was almost sure he couldn't hear me, saying those words lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. I locked eyes with Nate and he smiled at me.

"I love you Chloe." He held out his pink for me to grab. "Forever and always." I looked at him, my eyes shining with love and happiness that everything was alright.

I intertwined his pink with mine and smiled.

"Forever and always."