Unrealistic Reality

Chapter 34: Unrealistic Reality

Elliot pov

It was hard not to run back and hug her. I didn't want her to feel sad. The tears in her eyes and the soft sniffing made my heart clench.

I never planned to make her hate me.

I never planned to betray her, but I had to.

I had to choose between family and love. Family always comes first for me.

But Nathaniel warned me. He knew I was up to something and he told me she was going to hate me. He told me she would never forgive me. I guess he was right.

But she broke my heart more times than you could ever imagine. First, the rejection. Second the hatred and anger in her eyes. The third and last time was when she cried. I couldn't stand hearing the pain in her voice. I want to be the one to help her, but I simply can't.

I am a piece of shit.

I couldn't even stand up to my dad and be with the girl I love. I am a weak, pathetic excuse for a man, just as my father always tells me. I am never good enough for him.

Since the day he adopted Nathaniel, he loved him more than he loved me. He spend a lot of time with him and taught him everything he knew, while he let me figure it all out on my own.

I learned to hate Nate over the years.
If there was a way I could hurt him just as much as he hurt me, I would certainly do it. I would make him feel all the pain and loneliness I felt all these years. I would make him pay.

But that will never happen.

I can't do that to him, because in a certain way, he was always a good brother. He helped me without even saying a word. I learned to love him like a real brother and hate him like an enemy. He was just someone who I couldn't love, nor hate. He was nothing more than an empty shell for me.

But I was an empty shell too.

My life is a mess, I do things I don't want to do. I break the persons I don't want to break. I fail when all I want to do is succeed. I am a failure. I am nothing.

And that has to stop.

I need to draw my own line from now on.
I need to be strong on my own.

I don't need anyone else.

I just need to be me.

For Chloe, for Nathaniel, for my dad, but mostly, for myself.

Just a little chapter about Elliot's mind. I hope you all like it :)