All in my head

8.Fights

Cc pov
We were back at the house. Seeing her with caleb was heart wrenching. It seems more and more like they are dating...she walked over to the couch to sit next to me and caleb when i noticed something on her neck. "Cas... what is that? " I say pointing to under her ear at the crook of her neck. "Oh uh that..." i was disappointed and mad but i didn't want to upset her. Shes been through enough. He had to make it that visible? Gosh. I wonder who did it... "do you love him?" "I love all four of you guys i just cant pick." She sighed and pushed herself up. I got a text from grace 'tell cassidy to answer my texts.' Huh i wonder why..."Casss grace wants you to answer your textssss." She rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone.

I was sitting on the couch when cc told me to check my texts. I did ane noticed three new texts from grace.

-When did you start?!
2:03 pm

-How many times
2:36 pm

-CASSS
5:56 pm

I quickly texted back confused

-what do you mean?

A few seconds later I got a text back

-you know what i mean!!!

-i honestly dont...

-Fine just come to pauls ASAP

-idk where he lives?

-YES YOU DO

-whatever, I'll there in five minutes

"Cc come on we're going for a ride i told him" he jumped up and we went in his suv. He turned the radio on and miserable at best my mayday parade was on
Lets not pretend like were alone tonight
I know hes there and
Your probably hanging out and making out across the roomy stairs

I bet he got the nerve to walk the floor and ask my girl to dance
Shell say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say for her to her to second guess.
But i guess
That i can live without you but without you ill be miserable at best

The song went on and me and cc sang along. Andy was the singer of bvb but hell cc was just as good. I was trying not to melt when he was singing. We finally got to pauls house and walked in the door

Grace looked over at me trying not to flip shit

Grace ripped me and pauls phones out of our hands and read the texts and turn a bright shade of anger.

"YOUR HER DRUG DEALER?!?! she said with fury in her voice

"Its not like that. He just gives me a bit of pick me up when im at a low place."

"PICK ME UP?!?! CAS WHO ELSE KNOWS?!"

"only me and him i promise. But i gotta go im getting outta this city"

" what do you mean getting out of this city?!?!" She says rolling her eyes

"Im staying with jensen for a bit.."

"What so you can get a hickey from him and be the slut that you are?!" I looked down trying not to cry "listen grace i dont have time right now I gotta go, we can talk about this later."

Graces pov

I turned away, upset and pissed off hardly describe what I'm feeling. I walked off and went outside. I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I started to walk to the river and just say on the rails. My feet dangling over the edge. I should have never let Cas get high with us. This is my fault, I'm such a fucking idiot. I got her into doing pot... I probably just fucked everything up. "WHY AM I SUCH A FUCK UP?!" I screamed, no one was around to hear it but I need to get this out. "ALL I DO IS FUCK UP! HE SHOULD HAVE LET ME FUCKING DROWN!" I yelled and then started to sob. My hole body was shaking and I could hardly see a thing. I turned around and jumped off the rail on to the side walk. My body collapsed to the ground. My sobs only got louder, to the point I was giving myself a head ache. I sobbed out everything that was happening in my life. Making me miserable. I got up and went to where I used to live. The door was unlocked so I went to the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of coconut rum. Chugging down most of the bottle, and then putting it back and going to my room. I opened the door and memories of my parents yelling and beating me flooded my mind. "I deserved it." I whispered to myself. I walked over to my closet and grabbed a bag and packed clothes in it, and a blanket. Then I went over to my dresser and picked out the old books I have and opened the back of them. There was 4 sharp blades in there and that's when I put my arm out and carved in big letters "FUCK UP." Blood was dripping everywhere and I went to the bathroom and bandaged it. The pain finally kicking in. I went into my brothers old room and took his black Aeropostale hoodie. I put it on and went to grab my bag. Putting it over my shoulder I walked out of the house and started towards a street. It had very little light and it was hard to see. I sighed.