All in my head

6.High all the time

Ccs pov

Its been two weeks and grace only comes home for somewhere to sleep and i don't even remember the last time ive saw cassidy sober. The last two weeks all everyone has saw her was either high or drunk and we were scared to see what she would be like clean. In the mean time grace was off getting high with poeple but still was sober most of the time so we could get a decent conversation out of her.

Graces POV
It was around 5 am when I got back to the house. I was tiered but I had slept off most of my drunken state. I opened the door and there stood Jared and ash. "Hey babe." Ash said and then Jared stepped in Front of him. "Hey... You alright?" He asked and then i threw myself into his arms. I didn't cry, with me being drunk or high I got most of that put a while ago. Now it's just the over all fact of needing someone to hold me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. Trying to keep my eyes open. "Why?" Ash asked and then Jared let go of me and i stumbled over to ash. I hugged him and he held me. "Cause I'm an ass, cause I'm always put getting shit faced, cause I'm making all of you worried and miserable. " I said and ash sighed. "It'll be okay. We will talk about this when you get up." He said and then lifted me up and carried me to my room. When he laid me down I automatically cuddled my shark pillow and let the darkness consume me.

When i woke up i hear andy screamimg BATMAN and a stumbling cassidy, walking into more walls as usual. " how long as she been like this?" I ask caleb "ever since you went to your exes...we havent saw her clean." I just responded by a simple "oh." I went into the kitchen to make breakfast and jake running into the kitchen getting excited over the food WOAH WOAH BACK OFF MAN i whisper yelled to him as he jumped all over the kitchen causing me to laugh.

"Aye cas.... Can we talk outside?" I ask and she turned around and walked out the back door. I went out and sat on the edge of the deck we have and sighed. "I'm sorry man." I say and cas just looked at me with a blank expression. "Why?" I looked at her confused. "What do you mean why?" "Why the hell did you leave?" I sighed and put my head in my hands. "Cas... Shit happened with Jared and ash. I blamed myself and being near My ex....It just brings back memories that I wish I didn't have. Cause I feel myself falling for all three of them. But from what I figured out from last time.... I'm only going to end up hurt. I needed to escape my thoughts because I know for a fact i would've killed myself being around everyone here. " cas sat down beside me and sighed. "We care you know... None of us want shit to happen to you." "I know cas... But if I were here I would've been on lock Down... I probably would have went mental." I got up and went back to the house when I heard cas say. "Did you even think about coming and talking to me?"

I sighed and she took a bottle of whiskey and was about to take a drink when i grabbed it from her "your underage and drunk off your mind STOP" she rolls her eyes but i know its for the best of her. I really wondered if cc was being serious when they havent saw her sober in two weeks. Shit when she finally comes to i wonder whats gonna happen. She started looking around and i thought she was finally getting off her high and she just started randomly crying 'hey why your crying" but it seemed like she didn't even know. I looked around to look for any sharp objects because i know how these episodes go. I got rid of all glass and went to sit back next to her. "Wanna go for a walk?" She asked

"I think I gotta talk to the guys... Mostly ash and Jared... How about we go out for food tonight?" I Asked and she nodded "sure." I got up as Andy walked out with Caleb and they both sat beside cas. I walked inside and found ash sitting on the counter and Jared drinking coffee at the table. "Hey.... Can we talk?" I ask in a small voice and they nod. "Yeah." They both respond and then I go up to my room and sit on the bed cross legged. Ash and Jared sat beside me.

"Look I'm so sorry for the shit I put you guys through. I jut couldn't be here. Everything was getting to me and I didn't wanna start cutting so I went to my ex's house and started drinking with him and his friends and then we started getting high. It kept my mind off everything going on. And here all I would have been thinking about is how I'm fucking everything up. I'm sorry but I really couldn't the here. "