July 4th - CALM

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I found this in a Texting 5SOS book here on Wattpad (they're the one who put into this form) & it had me laughing so much I decided to share it !
Credit to: Hannah from @Texting_5SOS on twitter

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Luke: someone tweet

Michael: the Americans are scary tho holy shit they're patriotic as fuck

Calum: let's sacrifice someone

Ashton: I vote luke

Luke: WHY

Michael: no not luke he's too weak

Luke: wait you guys Independence Day is an actual thing

Ashton: ... Yes, luke

Calum: you dipshit

Michael: next thing you're going to think is that America is 2015 years old

Luke: it's not?????????

Calum: I'm so DONE WITH YOU

Calum: eenie meenie miney mo
luke hemmings is a ho
if he hollers let him know
his mum accidentally killed his pet fish

Luke: NOOOOOOO OH MY GOD

Luke: JASON

Luke: NOT JASON

Michael: who the fuck names their fish JASON

Ashton: rip jason

                 
-later I guess-

                 
Luke: michael you have to come to band practice

Michael: no I don't

Ashton: um....kinda

Michael: its Independence Day I can do what I want

Calum: shut the fuck up you're not even American

Michael: tell calum he needs to learn his part in if You Don't Know

Luke: mad spit fire

Ashton: ok I'm gonna ignore luke

Ashton: why does cal need to learn it?

Calum: mikey wants to perform it

Michael: I NEED TO PERFORM IT

Luke: mad fire

                 
-later again I guess-

                 
Michael: I DID IT

Luke: I'm scared

Calum: is "it" illegal

Ashton: hopefully not

Michael: USA songs as us
me/ Fourth of July
ashton/ American Idiot
calum/ Independence Day
luke/ party in the USA

Luke: BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAYY

                 
-later again probably idk-

                 
Michael: CAW

Michael: CAW

Michael: CAW

Michael: CAW

Calum: ok I'll bite. what the FUCK ARE YOU DOING

Michael: summoning the Americans

Ashton: uh

Luke: just let him be

                 
-later (I give up)-

                 
Calum: hey guys I was just shuffling through my music library and dude "Right Now" by 1d is so good

Michael: IT IS USA DAY WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LISTENING TO BRITISH MUSIC

Ashton: here we go

Calum: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU ARE NOT AMERICAN

Luke: *turns off phone* sayonara

-later for like the 1928374373 time-

Ashton: do you think he's calmed down

Calum: idk last I saw him he was learning usa's national anthem on the guitar

Luke: he's still wearing his American flag tank top

Ashton: how can we fix him

Calum: I don't know if we can

Luke: michael has been infected by...the freedom

-later (I'm so done)-

Michael: I calmed down I promise

Luke: 😒

Calum: 😐

Ashton: are you sure

Michael: pinky promise

Ashton: okay, fine

Michael: SIKE SUCKERS THE FREEDOM NEVER ENDS//

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