Crusty Spoons - CALM

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Credit to: centurynjh

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luke: michael

luke: mikey

luke: mike

luke: dude

luke: MICHAEL ANSWER UR DAMN PHONE

luke: miiiiiichael :(

michael: what the fuck do u want emo

luke: ashton is being mean to me :(

Michael: so

luke: can i come over to u and calums place pls

michael: um no

luke: whY

michael: bc one, i don't like you

michael: second calum hates u

michael: third, i hate you

luke: stop spilling out liES

calum: michael why are u being mean to luke

luke: caaaaalum :D

michael: hes fucking bothering me with his lashton problems

calum: u should know by now that everyone in this band is open to help with lashton problems

michael: when tf did that become a thing???

michael: why is that even a thing ??????

calum: ....just now

luke: yeah asshole get with the program

michael: did u just use a 19th fucking century line at me?

luke: maybe

calum: not that im enjoying the muke-ness of this but like can u both stfu

-a few hours pass bc lashton had to have hot angry sex and a responsible discussion about their relationship whoOps-

luke: me and ashton made up

calum: no one cares gOd LUKE

calum: TAKE UR BULLSHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE K?

michael: wtf is wrong with u im the asshole

calum: oh.... i woNDER WHY

michael: that's what i just asked you lol??

calum: >:|

calum: so whafhtgt the fuCk whY didn't u tell me about this piercing??

michael: um

calum: weLL?

michael: i thought it wasn't a big deal???

calum: noT A BIG De AL

calum: d iD U HEaR THaT LADIES AND FUCKIN GENTLEMENS HE DIDNT THINK IT WAS A BIG D E A L

luke: lmao now u know how i felt when ashton got that tattoo

ashton: yeah but the after result of that tattoo was worth it

calum: LASHTON THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DISCUSSION STOP BEING AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE FFS

luke: take a chill pill goddamn

ashton: ur squinting so hard no wonder everyone always thinks ur asian

luke: is it good for ur neck veins to pop out like that???

calum: NOT THE TIME FUCKTARDS

michael: sooo...

calum: NO SEX. AGAIN.

michael: oH C'MON

ashton: only if u got a tongue ring lmao

luke: ^^^

michael: CAL

michael: CALUM

michael: IM SORRY I'LL RUB UR BACK FOR U

michael: PLS BBY IM HORNY

calum: stfu ur sleeping on the couch tonight

michael: WHAT DID I DO???

calum: U CAUSED OUR FANS TO HAVE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES ASSHOLE

calum: U CAUSED YOUR BOYFRIEND TO HAVE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES

michael: I DIDN'T MEAN TO

calum: LIES

luke: horton hears a bitch ass liar

ashton: luke shut up that's old and mikey stop being an ass

michael: IS THIS ANOTHER GANG UP ON MICHAEL DAY WTF

michael: WHY AM I ALWAYS THE TARGET GODDAMN

calum: bc u always do things to piss us off that's why u crusty spoon

luke: are u feeling it now mr krabbs?

ashton: ?

michael: ??

calum: ???

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