AN: I hope you guys like it so far. I want to explain that I've had a really hard week so that's why all these chapters have been more serious. I want to also let you know this story didn't start out having anything to do with me, but I threw in a little bit of my past friendships with this new Kian character. Thank you for continuing to read my book<3
"Whore" he choked out as he clutched his wounded flesh. I didn't cut him too deep, and he was already striding off with fury. I started singing to myself
"The taste of blood remains, all these cold empty matresses......oh my as they start the start to look the same," I spun wildly as I did so. I had gone rabid. The meds infiltrated my system and I was spiraling into a rabbit hole that this little Alice couldn't seems to emerge from.
This had happened once before, last year. My grades were passing at best, my meals were non- existent, and my best friend had turned into my enemy.
His name was Kian. He was constantly caught between doing the right thing and missing out on what his own life had to offer. He was hilarious and simply the only one who understood me, at least that's what I thought. That's when Jed appared, he was cute, sweet, and actually pretty understanding. Jed fell for me and we really hit it off until he found out that I had depression and then all he could think about is how he looked dating some freak . Jed cared too much about my flaws than about any part of me that he liked in the first place. Needless to say, it ended bitterly with fighting and gossip. I expected Kian to still be my friend, right? He didn't. He had loved me before I went out with Jed, I was too blinded by depression to even notice, and Kian could never quite see that, it was the honest truth. Later that year I cried constantly and grew psychotic as I realized Kian was angry still about me not loving him, and he even started to see the flaws that Jed saw too. But in the meantime, I actually fell in love with Kian, and that just made his death even harder.
Kian's mom died that year of ovarian cancer and he took it really hard. He took his anger out on me, and used every personal thing I told him as an attack on me. I disconnected with all my sadness and wound up hooked into some new hospital or sike ward every week. Kian found his life crumbling as did I. His dad was abusive and his mother was his only hope, and I guess so was I. I don't know what made him do it, all I know is the last time he ever said to me was everythings fine. Silly me, I should have known.
Even three months after his suicide I still would replay every sign that Kian was slowly crumbling. Every wasted minute with Jed. I relived the night I heard the sirens, the terror in my eyes as I heard the news, and the dried blood at the scene that very night. I was going back to my old ways. This trip was for school remember? Yeah one thing I didn't want anyone to know was that I had only been attending school for a few weeks this year, because I was in the hospital too much to actually carry out the life that was thrust upon me. It all came rushing back. The sensation of pain from my arm, the love and heartbreak from having people walk out of my life, me simply being a screw up.
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Broke Summers (Kellin Quinn)
FanfictionKay's finally living her dream summer, complete with tan lines, freshly dyed hair, and matching vans. While on a class trip to California she get's lost in her own world, still struggling with re-occurring pain and depression, that is until she meet...
