Two Moons

Chapter Thirty One

May

Walking out of Maya's room, I wipe the tears from my cheek. I don't deserve anyone, especially Lucas or Jared.

"May, wait!" Lucas pushes through a group of doctors. I keep walking, not trying to look at him.

"Pup, come back here," his voice sounds strained. I feel myself hesitate when he calls me Pup. But I don't stop. I keep going, pushing the doors open.

I can't live like this, knowing people are getting hurt because of me. Sure, it's Derek's fault, I indirectly made Derek do this to other people. A hand suddenly grabs at my wrist and I pull away.

"Leave me alone, Lucas," I tell him, trying to free myself.

"No. You need to get your mind off of this. Let's go out. On a date," he suggests. I turn around and look at him, incredulous.

"Right now?" He nods. "Right now, when Maya almost died when Derek tried to kill her? When she's super high on pain medicine she can't even remember who is helping Derek whom I trust?"

"Yes." I sigh at him and feel myself giving in to his eyes.

"Okay then. Let's go."

*~*~*~*

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Where do you want to go?" He asks back, holding my hand.

"I don't really care. But someplace with coffee. I need some," I tell him. He nods.

"There's a Barnes and Nobles with a Starbucks inside. Want to go there?"

"Sure," I smile. We start walking, being careful of the cars.

"You know, I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you," he says, rubbing his thumb on top of my hand. I look up at him and lean into his chest. I sigh. I close my eyes and reopen them, staring right into Lucas's eyes.

"I just don't want people to keep getting hurt, you know? I feel like I should just go hand myself over to Derek. Maybe that way people will stop getting hurt," I tell him. His eyes turn pitch black.

"No!" He growls out, pressing me close to his body.

"I'm not trying to be cliche and try to be the heroine, or be brave. I'm not trying to be Clary or Hermione, or Tessa or Tris. I just hate the fact that people I love are dying and getting hurt because of me. I'm staying alive and being my selfish self not putting an end to this when I know I can stop this." As we stand in front of Barnes and Nobles, Lucas leans down and kisses me.

"I won't let that happen. We'll fix it somehow, and you will not turn yourself in. You would be even more selfish by turning yourself in. Did your mom die to protect you, or to let yourself walk right up to death's doorstep?" I smile at his heart warming speech and I kiss his lips lightly.

"Thank you," I whisper onto his lips, and tug him towards the bookstore.

"What do you want to do?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Nothing. I don't want anything, just to be here with you."

*~*~*~*~

"No, that doesn't make sense!" I exclaim, laughing.

"Yes it does! Of course Josh did that!" Lucas counters, smiling. Oh God, he's freaking perfect. Like, so beautiful.

"We're talking about Chloe's Josh, right? He cried at Chloe's musical?" I giggle, biting my lip.

"He's a huge softie once you know him. It only happened after he met Chloe. He's so whipped," Lucas grins.

"That's priceless!" I smile, taking a sip of my coffee.