Bully Me No More

38

*RAIN*

Lately I can't stop thinking about Roc! I miss him so much, but I'm sure he doesn't miss me. Whenever I'm feeling down I get urges to call him so he can make me smile again, whenever I have a good day I get urges to call him so he can laugh at my rambling. Brittany hated when I talk about him, she thought I was stupid to love him, which was understanable...but stupid or not I still loved him and missed him more than anything in the world.

I sat quietly while Francesca, the makeup artist applied more color to my lips and while Farrah, the hair stylist pulled at my bangs in a desperate attempt to pin them back. My dad smiled at me from where he stood across the room, but I didn't smile back, that may have meant I'd have lip stick all over my teeth.

Being a model was fun, and it was opening doors for me, doors that lead to paychecks. I had an offer to model Dereon for Beyonce, and another to model for Jaden Smith's Misfit line. All other offers had to be turned down because I told my dad I was ganna be 100% focused on school my last year and that I wouldn't model until after I graduated.

"Hold it a little higher." Jamie, the photographer told me.

I raised the bright blue sneaker higher and pouted my lips as directed. The camera flashed a few times before I was asked to do another pose.

"Smile right into the camera and hold the sneaker close to you." Jamie instructed.

At the end of the shoot I felt exhausted! They had me jump off mini trampolines, do high kicks, and tilt my head at weird angles. I felt more sore than I did after dance, and that could leave me feeling pretty sore!

After I showered, washed away all traces of makeup, and detangled my hair I got all comfy in bed, only to toss and turn for an hour. Roc. I missed him, I couldn't stop thinking about him, about how much better I slept when he was in bed with me and about how special he'd make me feel. I could no longer ignore the itch in my fingers to call him.

I grabbed my phone and didn't bother going to my contacts to find him, I dialed his number, which I memorized and held the phone tightly as it rang...and rang...and rang...

"Aye you reached Roc, sorry I missed ya, I'm probly just with my girl, or asleep. I'll call you when I can."

I smiled at the "with my girl" part and then frowned. He wasn't with me. He saw that it was me calling and chose to ignore me. I hung up the phone without leaving a message and forced myself to sleep.