Her Random Thoughts (Confessions)

Somebody that I used to know

It's quite amazing yet hilarious how things changed and happened in just a sneak of time.. five months? Five months that is full of craziness, pretending, weirdness, emotional investment, affection, happiness. Five months of having our own world, own rules, own game. Where we had given a chance to be the person we were supposed to be years ago. Where I finally gave in, let my guards down and let myself just go with the flow. I've become a hard-headed. Didn't listen to anyone's advice. Shuts the world that is full of fake, judgemental, pea-sized brain people. I didn't care if what we had was wrong or right as long as I have my friends whom accepted that forbidden set up we've been. Friends whom never judged me from all decisions I had made, support me instead. I know, it's somehow wrong. And it's not what I've dreamed of.Not like any other commitments. But atleast, that gave us a chance to be real not only to ourselves but also to each other. Yes. WE MADE A MISTAKE. We became so impulsive to care about others. But ofcourse, like anyone who did mistakes, we also realized that what we had and what we're doing isn't the right thing to do. That what we had is just a dream. A dream where we tried to escape and hide from all the mocked that'll be thrown to us.

I maybe considered it as one of my mistake, but I'll never regret what was happened between us. It was wrong yet one of my best decision I've ever made for myself.

Maybe everything is off between us now, but I'll never forget all those crazy and weird things we've done. How a simple conversation turn into a deep realization. How a lil teased turn into a small fight. How I learn to fight for my own happiness and fight what's supposed to be mine. How he tried to be fair, made sure that he's always keeping an eye on me. How he handle my different moods. And how he put an effort to make IT lasts a lil longer.

But yeah, we already reached the limit, the END GAME. We have no choice but to accept that what we had in the past will never comeback. It will only be a part of our history. Our story. That once upon a time, we fell inlove with each other in different time. How painful is that crap? Wrong timing! Why is it always wrong? Can't we just go back in the past? These thoughts giving me a hard time.

The lesson I learn? That whatever happens, we should never be dependent to anyone. That we should never regret all the decision we made, the mistakes we did because it once makes you happy and there's always a lesson that we should take. Shit happens but life goes on. And now, HE'S JUST SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW. SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO FIGHT FOR.