My Angel (Frerard) [REWRITE] *Slow Updates*

5: I Mean This. I'm Okay. Trust Me.

I made my way to the cafeteria, finally. I sat down at my usual table without grabbing anything to eat. Everyone kept staring at me and pointing and I didn't know why. I pulled out my phone to look at my reflection. I was fucking bleeding, out of my nose and mouth and I had bruises on my face. I looked like I just got ran over. Fucking hell.

Frank walked over to sit with me.. He gasped when he saw me. "Gerard? Are you okay? What happened?" He asked quickly. He got up and instantly started wiping the blood off my face with his napkin. "Was it Bert again? Fucking hell. It was, wasn't it? I'm going to fuck him up. I swear to god--"

"I'm okay now," I interrupted. I looked up at him and smiled. He looks cute when he is pissed off. Wait, shut up, Gerard. He still looked mad, but then he smiled back at me. He sat down the opposite side of where I was sitting.

"You're not okay," he insisted, biting his lip and giving the napkin to me. "You don't look okay, but-"

"But you really need to listen to me," I interrupted once more. Frank raised an eyebrow. Oh, so I see you don't believe me? Fine. "I mean this. I'm okay. Trust me." He sighed, defeated.

"So," he began. He looked at me and smiled again. "Guess what?" He added excitedly. He was just gushing.

"What?" I asked, trying to think of what it was. I literally had no fucking idea. I just kept thinking he was going to say that he had a girlfriend and then I could stop fucking obsessing or whatever the fuck I was doing. He's just so perfect, and I owe him my entire life. He saved me, and I owe him everything.

"Ray and Bob AND BJ are getting transferred here!" He exclaimed. He smiled the widest grin ever. "Isn't that great? It's just so fucking awesome. Like, Ray is the only one who's been my friend for like, ever. Bob's cool. Creepy, but cool. He likes me and Ray. We get along fine. And BJ... Oh god, I miss him. Of course I miss him. He's my fucking boyfriend and..."

I stopped listening. Boyfriend???? Frank is gay??? What??? Oh my god... Why did he fucking choose BJ to be his boyfriend?? God... Oh my fucking god. BJ? Really? I can't believe Frank is gay. How could I not see--

"Gerard?" Frank's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He looked at me funny. "You alright?"

"You're gay?" I asked, hoping I heard him wrong. He can't be gay. He just can't. I hope he's not into me, because oh god... I would really give into him if he asked me out or something. Please, god, please don't be gay. I'm not a homophobe, I just don't want to be gay. I will not allow myself. No matter how much I am attracted to Frank and no matter how cute he is. But then he proved me right. I did hear him right.

"Yeah," he blushed. He bit his lip and looked down at the table. He was so embarrassed. I didn't wanna make it worse. I smiled at him and outstretched my arm across the table to reach his face. I tipped his chin up to look at his face.

"It doesn't matter to me, Frank. I'm not homophobic. As long as you're happy, I am," I half-lied. Everything I said was true except the fact that I was happy. I wasn't. I hated myself with a passion. Fucking hell, I tried to commit suicide just weeks ago. That's all I really need to say. I hated myself so much, that I couldn't allow myself to be happy. Maybe I was for a few seconds here and there, but I'd just go back to nothing.

"Really?" He asked, beaming. His head popped up. He smiled and blushed so deep a red, that he looked like he got really bad sunburn. He was fucking scarlet or something. But him blushing made me blush. I took his hand and looked him in the eyes.

"Yes, Frank, your happiness is very important to me," I admitted, speaking softly, and blushing a deeper red color than before. I smiled and looked down at the table. When I realized I was holding his hand, it made me blush ten times worse. I quickly let go of it and pushed my hair behind my ear with the hand I was holding his with. Kinda like an excuse of why I had to let go.