My Angel (Frerard) [REWRITE] *Slow Updates*

6: I'm Not Okay, I Promise

I walked to school. It was cold out again, and my lips were blue when I got there. I was early again, as usual. When I walked through the doors, I was a little startled to see Frank and BJ making out up against the lockers. Of course, they were on mine. I have to admit I was a little jealous. No one else was around. Not unusual. I walked over and cleared my throat.

"You're on my locker," I said nonchalantly, trying not to look. BJ backed away from Frank, who was pushed up against my locker. Frank blushed a bright red color and then moved away from my locker. "I see you've been transferred already."

"Yeah... Sorry, by the way," BJ laughed. Frank giggled and wrapped his arms around BJ. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever," I sighed. I collected my books from my locker and started walking to math class. I was pretty jealous, if I must admit, and I didn't want to seem that way. I was trying to act like I didn't care, even if I did. Suddenly, getting punched by Bert seemed fifteen times better than watching my friend kiss someone else, because yes, I did have a crush on my angel. No one besides Mikey would ever know about it though. Frank took ahold of my arm and stopped me. I shivered under his touch, then looked at him.

"Hey, you okay? You seem upset about something and you never even said 'hi' to me," he stated in concern. I waved it away and tried to free myself from his grip, but he tightened his grip on my arm. "What's wrong? You acted like I didn't exist. And your lips are blue. Are you cold? Gerard, talk to me." I sighed. I looked away from him, but he kept trying to make me look at him. I finally looked him in the eyes, then looked away again.

"What did I do?" He inquired. He gave me a perplexed look. "Tell me if I did something. I'll try to fix it, okay? Please, Gee. Talk to me."

I shook my head. "You did nothing," I half lied. He made me jealous, that's what he did. I also was still upset with myself for the suicide thing and because I let myself like Frank. I wasn't supposed to do that. "I just have a lot going on right now... My brother, Mikey, his friend, Pete just told me a really fucked up secret that I have to keep. Maybe I'll tell you one day. Maybe." I tried to play it off. It appeared that it worked, I guess.

"Oh, okay," he sighed. "So why didn't you talk to me? I was standing right there." I shrugged. I broke free and began walking away again. He just stood there, watching me leave. I didn't look back. I couldn't. If I did, I'd tell him what's really going on with me and then he'd tell me to stop hating myself and I can't. I just can't do that.

When I walked into the classroom, I saw Ray. I hadn't seen him in a little couple of days, so I walked right over to him.

"Hey, Ray!" I exclaimed, hugging him. I smiled as big as I could. He smiled back just as big. Ray was the nicest person you'd probably meet. He was easygoing, funny and fun to be around. "I was actually going to look for you around lunch. What's up?"

He pulled the ear bud out of his ear. I heard 'Buddy Holly' by Weezer blasting through the tiny speakers. He turned off his iPod and smiled at me again.

"Oh nothing much. You? And it's good to see you, Gee," he replied. I shrugged and then sat down in the desk next to him. I nonchalantly lit up a cigarette and took a drag off of it. "You're gonna get caught, you know. Just saying."

"Yeah, I'm sure I will eventually," I said casually. "And nothing much is going on with me, either. My brother's friend, Pete told me a fucked up secret involving my brother and I can't tell anyone. Well, I could tell you, but I don't think you'd care."

"Fire away."

"Well, Pete came in the bathroom while I was showering and told me that he's gay and in love with my brother. It was really awkward, Ray."