The Suicide Equation

Chapter Sixteen - Meltdown

I picked up my cellphone with a shaky hand and called Shawn. With every ring my breathing grew faster and I felt myself tear up. He answered with a friendly hello.

"S-Shawn?" I said shakily.
"Hey, baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
"N-n-no. Not at all."

I could stop stuttering my words. Everything came out broken.

"What happened, Violet?" His tone grew more serious as he became more concerned.

I thought about how I was going to tell him what happened but I didn't know how. There wasn't a way to tell Shawn what I did without upsetting him. I took as deep a breath as I could and prepared myself for the inevitable yelling I was going to hear.

"I-I told my mom I was Bi."
"That's great! But what did she say?"

My heart sunk lower and I began to cry but tried my hardest to not burst into tears. I was able to keep it inside.

"She said she couldn't stand to have a bisexual daughter. She said it was wrong. She knew I dated girls in the past she said she thought it was only a joke because I was only thirteen."

"What?!" He shouted through the phone.

"So she told me to get out of her house..."

"It's 10:30pm, It's too late to be outside baby, go back home."

"I can't... She won't let me home until midnight.. That's when she said I can come back."

Shawn sighed and muttered under his breath. I couldn't make it out but I'm sure it wasn't anything positive.

"Should I come and pick y-"

I cut him off to tell him what I did. "Shawn.. I called Hannah. I told her what happened and she brought me a cigarette."

Shawn went silent for minutes. I tried to get him to talk to me.

"Baby, please don't hate me! Please, I'm so sorry!"

"I-I-I..." Was all he said.

"Shawn, please don't hate me! Please! I know I fucked up b-"

"I don't hate you, Violet. I understand. Shit got tough and you had to calm down. I'm glad you told me and I'm glad you didn't do anything more then that, right?"

"It was one cigarette. No weed. No Coke. No alcohol. Just a cig."

"Good. I'm happy you did the most mellow of them. I wish you didn't do anything though."

"I called you right after I put it out. I didn't think to call you when she kicked me out but I knew I needed to eventually. I figured you would've hated me though.."

"I understand why you did it. I would've done something to help with the pain too baby. I don't hate you. I'm a little disappointed but I don't hate you."

"Okay thank you, Shawn."

"I love you, Violet. Please, go home. Call your grandmother and have her tell your mom she's being ridiculous and stupid. Your grandma can always get through to her."

I agreed to do what he told me to and hung up the phone. My grandmother convinced my mom to let me back home and is going to come over to make sure everything stays okay.

I went home terrified. I walked in the door and was glared at by Carmine and decided to rush by to my bedroom. I shut and locked the door and awaited my grandma's arrival.

Almost an hour later she came in and I heard extra footsteps. There was a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I asked fearfully.

"Let me in, Vi."

I knew that voice better then I knew myself. I stood up, rushed to the door, flung it open, and threw myself at him with my arms wide open and buried my face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me very close and told me everything was okay.

"Violet, baby, are you okay?"

"I am now," I sniffled as I spoke."

Shawn held me tighter and closer and rubbed my back and assured me all was well. He made me world back to how it should be. He lifted my chin and looked deep into my eyes, smiled a toothy grin that I've grown to love more then anything, and wipe away my tears. He attempted to fix my makeup but it was a failed attempt but it made me giggle.

He lead me to my bed and sat me down and cuddled with me for what seemed like ages. Once midnight came around, my grandma poked her head through the door and called Shawn over. He had to go home.

"Princess, I love you so fucking much, keep smiling." He kissed me as he left me and I laid back down in my bed smiling as wide as he did.

Shawn had fixed my whole night. He made me forget all about what my mother did. I rested my head against my pillow and tried to sleep.

There was another knock at my door. It was loud and violent. It shocked me and made me jump up right before I slipped into my dreams.

"Who's there?" I asked sleepily.

No response.

"Hello?" I asked once more.

No one replied so I crept to my door fearfully and opened it up. My mother stood there and looked me dead in the eye with an expressionless stare that had only one meaning. Pure, unrelenting, anger.

"Violet Marie Rose! The stunt you pulled tonight was incredibly uncalled for and was a cry for attention! You need to learn your place in this household young lady!"

She finished shouting at me and raised her hand to strike me. Just then, my grandmother grabbed her hand and joined the altercation.

"For fuck sales, Carmine, will you be quiet?" She scolded my mother.

"Mom, shut up, she's my daughter and I'll treat her so."

"Carmine we both know damn well I've raised her more then you. Lay a hand on her and I will lay one one you."

My mother backed away and glared at me. My grandmother hugged me and told me to get some rest. She handed me a toblerone bar as she left my room. I smiled, sat down, unwrapped my candy, and relaxed.