The Suicide Equation

Chapter Twenty Three - Flatline

The smell of hospital has become normal to me. The sight of sickly patients being transferred around is nothing new. The staff knows my name. Here, I am well known. I've been visiting everyday for a month.

I was walking down the hallways and looked at each patient and nurse that passed by me. I nodded when nodded tk and said "hello" when waved at. I came across the room I was looking for and opened the door slowly.

"Mom... You up?" I asked quietly.

There was no response. I only heard the echo of hood oral machinery. I walked into the dead room and laid eyes on the white bed. There she was, stiff and motionless.

"Hey, Mom, wake up." I said as I shook her slightly. She came to life and looked up at me. "Morning, sleepy."

"M-morning, sweetly. W-why are you here?"

"I wanted to bust my mother. You're going to be in here for awhile, Mom. I gotta come and see you sometimes."

"Of course you do. I'm glad you actually care about me. You're siblings don't. They have spoken to my since they moved out."

"I know, and I hate that. I wish they'd give a fuck. I wish they'd come back home and live with their family. I wish they'd love us."

"Well, t-they won't. It's just you and me. No man, no siblings, nothing. Just me and you."

I nodded, "I know, Mom."

"I love you, Kara."

"I love you too, mom. Are you hungry?"

"Yes I am; take some money from my purse and buy us a meal."

"How much should I take?"

"Fifty. Get us s-s-something good. I hate their food they serve here."

I nodded and pick up her purse. I counted out fifty dollars and set it back down. I looked over at my ill mother. "You get some rest, Mom. I'll be back with food."

She nodded and rolled over. She drifted off to sleep and I left with her money. I counted it out loud and then put it away with a smirk on my face. I left the hospital and headed down to our trailer park.

I walked around our neighborhood for a bit before settling down in the park. I leaned against a free and pulled my phone out and dialed his number.

"Hello?

"Hi, yeah, could you meet me at the park?"

"How much do you got?"

"Fifty bucks, cash."

"Alright, I'll be there in ten minutes."

I hung up the call and looked up at the sky. It was pretty. It was a shade of bright blue without a single blotch of white. The wind blew against my face gently and wildlife sang around me.

I hated every second of it.

It was too happy and perky. It was too normal. The skies needed to be black, lighting needs to crash from the clouds, and the animals need to go and hide and shut the fuck up. I hated such conformity and I hated the "sheeple" who walked around their environment and enjoyed every dull, basic, second of it.

I wanted the world to be dark and different.

My train of thought was derailed when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw him. He looked me in the eyes and held his hand out towards me. I gave him the money and he counted it out very quickly before putting it away and giving me a hug. He handed me the paper bag mid hug and made small talk before walking off.

I calmly walked to the woods. I went in as far as I could and sat down on a fairly large, brown, rock. I dumped the contents of the bag out and admired my purchase.

I pulled out a lighter and papers from my pocket and put them next to the weed. I stared rolling and smoking within minute.

My phone rang. I looked down at it. It was my mother, so I answered.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you, Kara?"

"Stuck in traffic. I'll be there soon, I hope."

"Okay, how long should I expect?"

"Twenty minutes, maybe thirty."

"Okay, I love you. Bye"

I hung up the phone and threw it aside. I smirked and looked down at everything and took another hit. I wasn't leaving the woods until it was gone. I kept smoking until I just couldn't anymore.

I got another call. I stood up and walked over to my phone. I didn't recognize the number but answered it anyway.

"Hey??"

"Hello, is this Ms. Kara Deckered?"

"Yeah, that's me. What do you want?"

"Your mother went into cardiac arrest. She passed away a few minutes ago... We did all that we could be there was no way we could bring her back. I'm sorry. We need you to come in and fill out some paperwork.

I said "okay" and dropped the phone. I looked at the dirt and started to space out. My mind went blank for a few moments. It was already clouded but I managed to form a thought.

I started laughing loudly, leaned back on the rock, and clapped my hands.
"Finally!" I cackled. "Finally that old bitch is dead! Took fucking forever! She never approved of me and never let me live my life how I wanted to without fighting with me over it! See you in hell, cunt!"