The Suicide Equation

Chapter Nineteen - Six Month Anniversary

My phone vibrated. I looked down at it and I had a Facebook notification. I unlocked my phone and clicked on the app and looked at the status I was tagged in.

It's Thursday, November 12th, 2015. That date may not mean much to you reading this, but it does to me. Six months ago, a whole half of a year, I was asked out by the perfect girl. Violet walked onto the bus, sat next to me, and said those few words that have bonded us for the past six months.

All of you have formed an opinion about this girl. Many of you call her nothing but a whore. Maybe a useless druggie. Or maybe she's just another girl you dumped. Well, she's so much more than that. She's a whole different person than the Violet you know.

Violet is perfect in every single way. She has such a pretty smile, such a beautiful face, such cute hair, such an amazing body, the most adorable everything. She's perfect down the finest details. The walk she talks, the way she walks, the way she giggles, the way she smiles when she sees me. All of it just adds to her infinite perfection.

I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. She is my everything. She's saved me from myself countless times. She's brought me out of my depression and made me smile even when I'm bawling my eyes out. She makes me feel better.

Violet is my one and only. Violet is the girl of my dreams. Violet is the one who stole my heart,  kept it to herself, and treated it the right way. Violet is the one girl who I can truly say I'm madly in love with.

Violet, I love you. You mean the world to me. I still get butterflies when I see you. You make me feel safe, loved, and happy. I truly love you with all of my heart.

Love, Your Prince, Shawn.

Shawn wrote me a six month letter that was so adorable that I started crying halfway through reading it.

"This boy..." I whispered to myself, "this boy is perfect. He loves me. He really fucking loves me."

I immediately commented "aww, iloveu2, Shawn. So much! <3"

I started thinking, Shawn really does love me. Why would I ever doubt him? He knows I've been through so much and that I have trust issues yet he stays. He sticks around through the good and the bad. He doesn't give up on me. Shawn loves me.

Each passing second was another moment where I realize just how much I meant to Shawn. I was his whole world.

I called Shawn's Skype, knowing he wasn't online, so I could leave him a video voice mail. The familiar ringtone played out until it's timer was up and then the notification popped on screen.

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable.

Below the pop up there was two options. One to close out and one to leave a message. I clicked my choice and looked at my webcam and smiled.

"Hiiii, Shawn," I said. "You know as well as I do that it has been six months since we got together. Six whole months! We've been a couple for half of a year! Isn't that crazy? I mean, really, where does the time go?" I looked down at my keyboard and smiled, "you know, you're my whole world. You're my everything. You're my knight in shining tinfoil. You're my light in the darkness. You're my one and only." I slowly looked back up to the camera with a large smile, "I love you. I mean that every time I say it. Why wouldn't I? You've treated me so much better then any other guy or girl ever has. You don't use me, you don't abuse me, and you care about me. I've never had this before."

I reached over and picked up my notebook I had been doodling in with my spare time and opened it to the center page and held it to the camera.

"You see this?" I spoke with excitement. "This is the date we got together." I giggled my "Now, do you see this?" I said as I pointed right below the numbers. "That's the symbol for infinity. I know you know that, but do you know why I put it there? Because we are going to last forever. We will be together until we die. I love you sooooo much, my Prince. Bye bye." I blew a kiss to the camera, waved, and giggled as I sent the video message to Shawn.

Only an hour later he texted me.

Awwww c':

What?

I saw your thing on Skype. That was fucking adorable!!!!

I smiled as I texted him.

Thanks baby c:

Hey, are you busy?

No, not at all, why?

Come outside.

But it's 10:30 at night. I can see the moon from my window.

Just get your cute booty down here or else.

Or else what?

You don't want to know.

Tellllll

I'LL TICKLE YOU

I laughed at my boyfriend ridiculous text and walked outside. I was greeted by Shawn with arms wide open and hands full of roses and toblerone bars. I smiled and hugged him and he handed me my gifts.

"Happy six months, Princess." He said softly.

"Happy six months, my love."

I took his hand and lead him inside and sat him down on the couch.

"Stay right there, Shawn!" I shouted as I went to the kitchen.

I put my candy in the freezer and set the roses on the counter. I grabbed a vase and filled it with cold water and set my vibrant red flowers inside. I set the vase on a windowsill and walked back out into the living room and looked at Shawn.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." I replied as I walked towards him and sat in lap.

"What are you doing?"

"Nnootthhiing." I said as I kissed him.