Just the two of us (Eminem fan fiction)

Chapter 34 Can you forgive me?

I just wanna thank you all once again for reading my story! :) :)

Sunday

Marshall (1.54pm)
I'm outside

"Bye!" I shout through the house as I'm walking to the front door, they already know what my plans are today.
"Be home at 6!" Rachel shouts back.
"I will!" I reassure her. I walk towards Marshall's car, he's looking at me and I can't help noticing how damn good he looks, stop! I get into the car and put my seat belt on and I don't say anything, he has the understand how angry I am. You probably think I'm stubborn because I actually am crazy about this kid, but this is how my mom raised me. Even though I know I'm gonna forgive him eventually. I have to give him a hard time to make sure that he never walks over me like that ever again.
"Hi." He mumbles and I can't figure out of he's in a bad mood or just really uncomfortable about my coldness towards him. I don't say a word so he just begins to drive and there's a long moment of silence before he speaks again. "Thanks for agreeing to this."
"You didn't gave me much choice." I tell him coldly as I look out of the side window.
"I know." He sighs. "I just really miss you." I still don't look at him but I keep looking out of the window, I can see that we're heading to our spot. "I know I fucked things up between us badly and I know that I lost my chance with you, but Amelia.. When you get angry you act in a certain way, you act like you fucking do now and when I get angry I act like a complete idiot. I don't blame you for being pissed at me, I don't blame you for acting like a fucking bitch right so why are you judging my actions from how I acted in anger when I've never done that with you?" He asks. Why does he always do this? Why can't he suck it up and admit that he's wrong? He's trying to push this on me right now. If he had just said some shit to me in anger then fine, but he fucked his ex girlfriend in anger. I'm aware that he could do whatever he wanted because we weren't together, but I felt cheated on because deep inside I still felt he was mine all along.
"Don't push this on me." I just mumble without looking at him.
"I don't but you don't hear me blaming you for what happened at new years eve." He says which makes me look at him.
"I didn't do that because I was angry, I did that because I wanted revenge, I wanted to hurt you like you did to me." I tell him and my voice is shaking.
"What's the difference?" He asks me.
"That you hurt me." I tell him.
"So let me get it straight.. You kissed with Marcus to hurt my feelings? I got arrested because you wanted revenge? I have to watch my fucking back because you wanted to make me fucking jalousie?" He asks me and I can hear that he tries his hardest not to yell at me right now.
"I thought you didn't blame me." I provoke him.
"Cus I fucking thought you did it because you were drunk and stupid!" He raises his voice hitting the wheel. I can tell that he's beyond pissed right now so I don't dare to say anything. "You know my fucking temper Amelia!" his voice cracks. For the first time I feel really really bad about what I did that night, because I just had to start drama and I just had to take it even further when I deep down knew what the outcome would be.
"I'm sorry." I almost whisper and he doesn't say anything. "I'm sorry." I say a little louder because I'm not sure if he heard me the first time.
"I heard you the first time." He says without looking at me and I have a big lump in my throat, damn he's really angry.
"But you really hurt me Marshall, not that what I did was fair but do you have any idea of how I felt that night when you told me?" I ask him.
"Like I felt when I saw you and Marcus kiss." He tells me coldly and again I don't say anything. What is there to say? The boy told me he loved me, I knew he loved me and I know he still does and then I kissed another guy like that. "Imagine if you saw me and Kim kiss." My heart hurts just thinking about it! BUT! He still slept with Kim, how would he feel if I had actually slept with Marcus.
"Imagine if I had slept with Marcus." I fire back at him. Marshall looks at me and I can see the jalousie in his eyes.
"Did you wanted to sleep with him?" He asks me.
"No." I answer him honestly. I was attractive to Marcus before I found out which psycho he is,  but I never had any intention to sleep with him. There's about 5 minutes of silence before Marshall speaks.
"How is everything at home?" He asks me.
"Fine." I lie.
"With James too?" He asks me and I can hear that he's worried.
"Yes everything is fine." I assure him. I can't tell him about what he did earlier this week because Marshall will slit his throat. We get to our spot and we just sit in the car, non of us say anything, I'm too stubborn to say anything and I don't know what Marshall's excuse is.
"Would you ever be able to forgive me?" He suddenly then asks me and I look at him.
"I don't know." I say.
"I don't love Kim anymore if that's what you think." He says. It is what I think..
"You do or else you wouldn't have slept with her, I understand that.. You have a lot of history with her."
"No it was just sex Amelia, It's you I'm crazy about." He assures me. I'm so confused because I know he's crazy about me, but why did he then feel the need to sleep with her after we broke up?
"Everything was perfect Marshall." I say and I can feel the tears building up in my eyes. He really hurt me, everything was perfect until he was too pushy, he just had to drop those words so early. The problem wasn't that he dropped the L word, the problem was that he expected me to say it back.
"It was. Do you think we can go back there?" He asks me.
"Marshall I.." I shake my head and begin to cry. I hate crying in front of people and specially when I try to be strong, I'm just so hurt. Marshall reach out for my cheek to brush my tears away but I lean back to avoid it. "Don't touch me." I tell him in a warning tone and he obeys. He doesn't say anything, I can tell he waits for me to finish my sentence. "It was all so perfect and it didn't require much for you to end what we had." I finally speak.
"I told you I loved you and you turned me down." He says.
"I didn't turn you down you turned yourself down by expecting me to return those words!" I raise my voice at him. How come it's so hard for him to realize that?! He doesn't say anything.. I wait but he still doesn't say anything.. Did he just realize I was right? After a long moment of silence I speak again "Just drive me home."
"No you promised too talk to me." He reminds me. I can't see what good that will do? This is the same old record playing over and over again.
"What do you want?" I sigh.
"You." He almost whisper.
"You burned that bridge." I say. I know it's a lie because god I want him so bad but I want him to suffer, I know that's sick but I guess I'm twisted. I can see on the look on his face that my words hit him hard.
"Are you for real? You don't just say that cus you're angry?" He asks me and I want to speak, but the big lump in my throat won't let me. "Amelia." He says wanting me to answer his question.
"No.. I just.. It's just.. You hurt me." I finally say almost whispering.
"I'm sorry baby." He says.
"I'm not your baby Marshall." I tell him and he just looks at me. "I don't know how to deal with this right now."
"I know I fucked up but just give me one more chance Amelia, just one chance and I promise not to fuck it up again." He begs. I look into his eyes and I can see he means it, I can see how much he wants me and I can see how broken he is. I want him to give him another chance but that Kim thing really bothers me because I know he can't avoid her, because she still comes at his house to visit his mom. Has he suffered enough? "Amelia please." He begs again because I haven't said anything.
"I want to give you another chance but that thing with Kim really bothers me." I tell him honestly.
"It was just sex, I promise you it was nothing else." He says.
"But you know she's gonna throw it in my face next time I meet her."
"Then let her." He says. "I'm all yours." I can't help but smile because that's all I want, him to be mine and a big smile comes across his face. "You're smiling! That's good right?" He asks and I can't help but laugh and nod. "So you're giving me another chance?" He asks.
"You just get this one." I say and my smile has disappeared. "If you fuck it up again Marshall then it's over."
"I won't baby." He says smiling. "Can I kiss you?" I don't answer him, I just kiss him. The kiss feels so good, it's passionate and soft at the same time, our tongues dance around each other and his lips are so soft and I can't get enough of them. Slowly he pulls me over to his lap and our lips doesn't separate each other, to be honest I don't want them to either because I just wanna stay like this forever. Slowly he moves his kisses down my neck and I can't help but moan, I love the way his lips feel on my skin but I can feel his intentions with this and it's not gonna happen, right now he's on time out and I'm not gonna give it up to him already, he has to fight for it and plus I want revenge for how I had to beg for it, now it's his turn to beg.
"Marshall.." I moan but really I want him to stop.
"Yeah say my name again." He whispers seductively in my ear so I pull away.
"It's not gonna happen." I tell him and return to my own seat and I hear him sighs deeply.
"I thought you forgave me." He says confused.
"I did but you're still on time out." I say and his eyes widens.
"You can't be serious baby." He says and I can see that he hopes that I'm kidding.
"I am very much serious, it's your turn to beg." I challenge him and he knows exactly what I'm talking about.
"So much for trying to be a gentleman." He sighs and fix his boner and I chuckle really low hoping it doesn't hear it, but I'm wrong. He stares at me which makes me laugh even more. "You're so gonna pay for this baby." He warns me.
"Really?" I challenge him. "How? I mean I have all the power."
"That's what you think baby." He says with a smile and opens his door. "Lets take a walk." I give him a weird look, that was suddenly.. "I need to get my mind off what just happened, lets walk." I do as he says and we begin to walk. It's weird because we haven't spoken for almost 2 months and it is all like it was before, we talk about random stuff and he doesn't let go of my hand, it fits perfectly in mine.
"I've really missed you." I say after we've been walking for about 30 min, he gives me a little short kiss on my lips.
"I've missed you too baby." He says.
"Don't ever hurt me like that again." I beg him and my voice is shaking. Marshall stops walking and pull me in for a hug.
"I won't baby." He promises me.