Just the two of us (Eminem fan fiction)

Chapter 40 Pretending

3 months later.. (September)

Here we go again.. I'm alone with James and it's like even though I try to avoid it then he's just a sneaky baster and we end up being alone somehow. I'm so convinced that he's a sadist and because he doesn't like me, then he can take it out on me. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck happened to him since he has ended up like he is, something must have happened right? I mean you always read shit about people being like this and there's always some deeper story which explains how they have become such monsters, so I wonder what James' story is?
"What have I done this time?" I ask him as I bend over the table pulling my pants down so he can spank me with the belt; yes he's become sicker and it's like when I think he can't take in any further, he does it. It's so humiliating for me to stand here exposed in a thong while he gets ready to spank my ass, he's sick, it's simply sick that he enjoys this. The worse part is that I can't tell anybody about this, the man is really sick and I know he'll hurt me even more if I tell someone.
"I don't need to explain my reasons Amelia, maybe I just find you annoying." He says coldly. I know he finds me annoying, I know it bothers him that I tell Rachel everything and she doesn't tell James half of the shit that I share with her, I know it also bothers him that Lucas and me are having such a good relationship, what bothers him even more is it that he doesn't have the power, he doesn't make the decisions and he can't control me. The only moment he can control me is right now where I'm bended over the table ready for my punishment, ready for the marks he's gonna leave on my body, ready for all the lies I have to tell people the next week or two. I feel the belt come down hard on my ass cheeks and I just beg that someone is gonna come home and see what James does to me, but that never happens because like I said: he's a sneaky baster and he knows how to plan his crime. I cry out in pain and he gives me no mercy as usual, I can feel his anger and hate towards me every time he hits me.
When he's finally done with my punishment he just leaves my room and I put on some baggy pants as usual and lay down on my bed crying.

The next couple of days I totally ignore Marshall's texts, phone calls and everything, I just can't take anymore lies and this is how I avoid too lie to him, I know it's mean but it's just for a couple of days and then I can deal with the lying again, I just need a couple of days without lying.

About 2 months ago Tasha discovered my secret when we were drunk at some party and I didn't pay attention to what parts of my body I needed to hide, I trust Tasha and I know she can keep this secret even though she has tried to convinced me to tell Rachel.

Tasha and I are standing out on the halfway getting ready for our next class when I suddenly hear Marshall's voice.
"Amelia!" He says. It can't be him? I must hallucinate. I look to my left and see Marshall walks towards me, okay I'm not hallucinating. What the fuck is he doing here? "I need to talk to you now." He demands.
"I can't.. Marshall.. I'm in school.." I stutter.
"Why the fuck are you ignoring me?" He asks me angrily totally ignoring what I just said.
"I'm not." I almost whisper.
"Bullshit Amelia!" He raises his voice.
"I'm not ignoring you Marshall, I've just been really busy." I lie.
"You've been so busy for 3 days that you don't even bother to answer my calls?!" He asks. "Is there someone else?" I look around and people are staring like crazy.
"Marshall, people are staring." I say embarrassed and he hit my locker with his fist which makes both me and Tasha jump in chock.
"Answer me Amelia!" He demands.
"No Marshall there isn't anyone else!" I raise my voice. "Can we please talk about this after school?" I ask him in a calm voice.
"No cus I gotta work." He says coldly. A teacher now walks over to us.
"Sir, I have to ask you to leave." Mr. Jackson tells Marshall.
"I just gotta have a word with my girlfriend, if she's still my girlfriend." Marshall says staring at me.
"Marshall please you're getting me in trouble." I beg him with tears in my eyes.
"You better answer you fucking phone when I call you tonight." He says with anger written all over his face and he then leaves. I look around and all people are staring at me, god I look so weak right now and I'm so embarrassed.
"Are you okay?" Mr. Jackson asks me and I nod. "Do I need to call someone?"
"No please don't call anyone, Marshall is my boyfriend and he's really no harm." I tell him. I know exactly how this situation looks like from the outside, Marshall looks like a psycho ass boyfriend and it just looks bad but really it isn't, Marshall is just a bit insecure and he's afraid that I've found someone else.
"Shit.." Tasha whispers after Mr. Jackson leaves.
"That was bad." I just say.
"You don't say." She says.

The only thing I can think about all day is the episode with Marshall, I know that under all the anger he showed me he was just hurt. I don't know what to tell him when he calls later, I don't wanna lose him and what he said about me still being his girlfriend makes me wonder if he's gonna break up with me.

I have the phone in my hand the whole day waiting for Marshall's call and when I'm about to go to bed he finally calls.

"Hi." I say with an insecure tone.
"What's up?" He asks me coldly.
"Nothing much I'm just about to go to bed." I say and he sighs deeply before he speaks.
"What the hell is going on Amelia?"
"I'm just fighting so many demons lately."
"How come you don't talk to me about that?"
"Because it's really something I have to deal with myself."
"I know but talk to me man."
"I can't."
"Why not? I thought we could tell each other fucking everything Amelia."
"I bet there's some things you can't share with me either." I say and I know there is, I know he can't talk about his uncle which committed suicide.
"This is affecting shit between us."
"I love you." I begin to cry because I feel like he's breaking up with me.
"Why are you crying baby?"
"Because it feels like you're breaking up with me."
"I'm not. I just wanna know what's going on."
"I'm sorry I ignored you."
"I'm sorry I showed up at your school baby but I just needed an explanation."
"I know." I say trying to calm down my crying and Marshall sighs deeply again.
"Talk to me."
"I can't wait till I graduate."
"Is everything alright at home?"
"It's the same." I tell him that way I'm not lying.

We talk for about an hour about school, home and future and it just feels really nice talking to him again but it doesn't feel good lying to him. I feel like I'm lying about everything, when we talk about home I'm lying because I don't tell him the fact that James beat me, when I talk about future I lie because I pretend that we have a future together when I'm really moving to California, I feel like a fucking coward but sometimes it's nice pretending that we have a future together. I know it's gonna break my heart when I have to leave him and I have no idea when I'm gonna tell him, because I know when I tell him that he's gonna be so angry, I know he's gonna make me stay in Detroit or he's gonna break up with me, I know Marshall.

Authors note!
I know I make a lot of big jumps in the story but I just wanna point out the most important things before Amelia graduates. I also wanna point out how I hate to write those horrible scenes about what James do to Amelia, but I just wanna make sure that you understand what she's going through and why she has such a hard time. It'll make you understand better why she makes the choices she does later on.