Confessions Of A Teenage Writer

Self-Acceptance

Recently it has become harder and harder to accept yourself for who you are. All you see is how everyone around you seems to be one step further along then you are no matter how hard you try. All you want to do is to feel like you are good enough. That your place in the world is one that matters. A place that holds meaning.

Right now, you feel like it would be easier if you simply slipped into a state of mind where you just don't care anymore. Or the worse alternative the state or self-hurt or self-pity.

In my life I have had many times where I have felt as though I have to feel bad for myself and wallow in my own sorrows. I have felt that no matter how much I set my mind to do something that it would never work out. That my efforts would never be to the standards I want them to be.

Even before I begin something I think that in the end I'm going to mess something up and that I will fail. This thinking has been a dark and all encompassing blanket covering every single aspect of what I do in life.

However, I always try. I always get this small thought of hope that helps me to get up and at least work towards the goals that I wish to accomplish. More often then I would like it to the hope I feel does not last as long and I fail. Then I fall right back into that dismal well of guilt.

Recently, I have had an epiphany. One that I hope will inspire others to get out of that feeling of hopelessness and guilt just like I feel it is helping me to feel more confident and more accepting of who I am.

I have a graphic design period everyday at school with a friend of mine. One thing that I had learned long ago was that I have been absolutely terrible at art since I was young. The reason that I take the class is because it something fun to lighten up my senior schedule . Anyway, I was designing a few pictures to use for road signs and I was surprised to see that they were not that bad.

The pictures I drew were actually kind of good. So I showed my friend what I drew and she said that she liked them. Of course, that made me exceedingly happier. Even so, my mind went to a sad place and I said too bad i'm not Picasso. My friend ended up answering like this, "No one can be Picasso." A simple answer. An answer that any friend might give. For some reason though the words stuck in my mind.

I thought it over and I realized why they meant so much. No one on earth can be anyone else but themselves. No matter how hard you try to mold yourself to be like another person it is impossible. There is only one person on earth that is like you and there will never be another you again.

It also got me to think that instead of thinking of drawing or writing as good as my mentors I should be writing and drawing to the best of my own abilities and let my own being shine through. If I am going to take on any new challenges it would be as me. I would not be so focused on being better or pushing myself to be as good as someone else, but to do the best thing I have the ability to do.

When I got home that day I decided that I would try drawing a few characters and it turned out to be some of the better drawings I have ever produced. I felt as though the knowledge that the only person I should be trying to better is myself set me free. I feel like I am now better equipped to do all the things I wish to accomplish. I had never felt more confident and I had never felt more "me".

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Acceptance is the fastest way to confidence, Stay strong, and love every aspect of who you are!
Thank you so much for reading!
I love you!
-Tiana Wolfe (ilovexica)
p.s. I hope that this chapter resonated with your heart. I hope that this chapter has been helpful for you. My heart goes out to all those who suffer depression and I hope that you all know how beautiful and powerful and creative you all are! I give all the love in the world to you!
p.p.s. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH THIS STORY! It means more to me then you could ever know! There has been time after time where I would read a comment and tears would come to my eyes. You are all amazing! Thanks again!

picture of some drawings I did on the side--->