What Now?

Is it getting better or is it in my head

It was time for my check up and Edward couldn't make it because he had to go to work. "Baby are you ready to go to the doctors?" my mom asked me. I nodded my head and we went into the car and just talked about how the baby is growing more and more. I am about to be 4 months in 2 days and Im super excited. We finally got into the doctors office and the nurse was checking the baby and measuring my belly. " You grew only a little how are you feeling?" the nurse asked me. I told her I was feeling okay only been feeling sick. She checked my weight and I lost 5 pounds. She told me it was normal nothing to worry about but I was concerned. I could barely eat because anything I ate I threw up as soon it gets into me fully. My little one wasn't having it. It was time for my ultrasound I know it sounds weird for a 14 year old to say it but I was excited to see how my little one was doing. "And there is your baby sweetheart" my doctor told me. I smiled at the screen and laughed a little how much my baby has grown. The doctor looked concern after a while and asked me have I been having pains.? I nodded my head "only on my side doc." He went to the side that I had most of my pains and he went to happy to sad. I cleaned my stomach off and got up. He turned on the light and sat on the chair I stood up and asked him what was wrong.

"Sweetie it looks like you had another baby growing in you... You lost one of you babies." I looked at my mom with a why face and looked back to my doctor. "how? why? what did I do?" I just wanted to cry. "honey you didn't do anything wrong okay it happens you have one in you right now." My mom thanked the doctor for everything and we had to come back in 2 weeks to get checked again. We got into the car and it was complete silence the drive home felt like it was taking days to get home. I told my mom that I was going for a walk around the neighborhood to clear my head she nod her head and told me okay. I started walking and sat down on the sidewalk where a new house new one lived in. I sat there and started crying. How can I loose a baby. I didn't even know I was having twins... I thought I only had one growing in me.. But I had to but now he or she is gone.. how could this happen. My mom texted me telling me Edward was looking for me to come home. I got up and started walking home. I got home and saw Edward in front of his car texting I walked towards him he put his phone in his pocket and hugged me. "Your mom told me what happened.. are you okay.?" I nodded my head and told him no that im hurting im heartbroken. I started telling him I blame my self this is happened. "Babe this isn't your fault like the doctor said it happens we have one.. okay." he didn't understand ...

We talked more and sat in the car talking. I looked down and saw cigarette packs everywhere on the floor of his car. "When did you started smoking?" Edward looked at me and smiled. "Is there a problem babe that im smoking." My mouth dropped "are you kidding me I have asthma you know I cant be around that." He just shook his head and told me he doesn't have to listen to me. I just shook my head and went inside the house and slammed the door. My mom looked at me and asked me what was wrong. "What a fucking ass hole you know what im just cranky because I didn't take my nap." She just looked confused and didn't know what to say than I heard Edwards car drive off super fast. I went to my room and just sat on my bed how much I just wanted to text him and curse him out super bad but ugh I couldn't. So much stress was going in my head I started to hate him but I shouldn't. I called him so I can tell him that we really needed to talk but ofcoarse went straight to voicemail. Text message after text message and nothing.. He was really ignoring me.

4 hours later.

Its already 7p.m and nothing back from Edward he wasn't working right now than what was he doing. I went outside and  sat on my porch and started rubbing my belly "Daddy is being a big meany isn't he." I starred at the moon and wish things got better but was it? Am I forcing myself for things to get better when they aren't. "Sister are you okay" I looked up and saw my sister Rebecca looking at me. "yeah im okay just kinda tired.." She laughed and told me tired of what if I just lay around the house or go out. I laughed sarcastically and mocked her laugh that made her laugh even more. She sat down right next to me and I knew I had to tell her what was really going. "Sister I don't think me and Edward are going to workout its nonsense how much we fight in a day it gets under my skin and just aggravates me he is clubbing more than ever gets home super later or super drunk its like ughh what am I going to do if he still acts this way when our baby comes out sister." I just let everything out. My  sister hugged me and told me everything will be okay. My sister hates him so does my family more than ever especially since all the shit he put me through so far into my pregnancy I don't even really need to hide anything they all hear our arguments in the room or when I yell at him on the phone.

The next day Edward came over and just sat right next to me on the couch. "so what now your so hormonal sometimes I don't even know who you are anymore, we fight more than we make love can you even remember the last time we made love. I just looked at him " Edward you think I want us to have sex ! your texting other girls your not even being a good boyfriend you go out and do yout thing and don't text me or call me. we are not the same and I don't want to wear this ring if this is all what your going to do..."That's how you really feel.." I hugged him and just didn't want to say anything else. I just wanted to be with him.. I love this asshole so much. "Babe your getting kinda big." I looked right up at him and thought to myself really are you kidding me did he forget that im pregnant with his baby. "UMMM if you forgot im pregnant." he laughed "I know you are but I wish you didn't have to get big you aren't the skinniest girl ever but I know you don't have to gain so much weight. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I just shook my head and threw his hands off of me. "Babe stop your beautiful you always will be amazing to me but I wish we had sex more I miss us having sex." I just looked at him and didn't know what to say I didn't want to have sex especially since I am pregnant I didn't want to hurt the baby. "Okay than tonight we will have sex okay." Edward smiled super big and said finally.