What Now?

Heartbreaker

Jason and I haven't talked in 2 months it was weird to me.. Maybe he didn't want to talk to me anymore maybe I wasn't good enough. Edward and I started talking again maybe it was a mistake being with Jason or a life lesson or it was just time for Edward and I to be a family. Maybe is seeing other people had to remind each other that we still have feelings for each other...? Maybe? Maybe it was all in my head. "Babe come on you ready to go to go out?." Edward asked me. I looked up and smiled and nodded my head. Before I left my sister told me that Jason has gone back to his ex girlfriend. That was nice to know made me just want to go to his house and punch him in his fucking throat!. I got up and grabbed David he was all cute and dressed up. My dad even moved back home and everything because he didn't have a place to stay. I was actually glad he was home he can spend more time with David. Edward got into the car and I buckled up David up. "So where are we goin?" I asked Edward. He held my hand but it just didn't felt the same to me I judge went with it. "Well babe for me missing so much time out of David life I was going to take you guys downtown to the bridge and walk around than we can go eat some ice cream oh but he can swim in the little waters downtown I know he likes stuff like that right.?" I smiled at me I was glad he actually knew one thing about David. We drove downtown and David started crying he hated being in his car seat especially since he was learning how to walk. "Baby calm down we are almost there." I turned on my iPhone and put on Elmo. He calmed down and started laughing hard he loved Elmo a lot. We finally got to downtown and started walking it felt nice to actually have my family. "Lets put David in the water." Edward said. I got David ready and he was ready we played in the water for 20 minutes. We started to walk back to the car to get some ice cream but David was knocked out in his stroller. "We need to talk.?" Edward opened the door for me to put David in. "Okay about what?" I asked. "Well about us and where is this going to go because I don't want to play any games." I just nodd my head okay. I texted my mom telling her if its okay for Edward to sleep over she said it was okay. We got home and went straight to bed I didn't want to have sex I didn't want to do anything. I sat down on the bed and waited for Edward to put David to bed. "Okay so since David is sleeping let talk." I looked at him and said okay. "Look I know what I did I hurt you a lot and I've been a fucked up father but I'm ready I'm ready for us to be together." I kinda got pissed off but didn't want to start and argument. I just said okay and listened to everything he said. We went to bed and just cuddled I couldn't stop thinking about what Jason has done to me honestly thought he was different. But who would want to be with a teen mom....

I thought everything was going good with me and Edward, thinking he will help me out with David at night. But it went like this. "The baby is up go make him a bottle!" "Go pick him up lazy ass". The whole night that what he was telling me. I got up and took care of David I didn't want to be around him anymore so David and I went to the living room and fell asleep there. It was 4 a.m and I woke up with my phone vibrating it was my sister telling me to open the door so I did. I unlocked the door and she came in. I laid David on the couch and put pillows all around him so he wouldn't fall off. We went to the balcony and we started talking. "Sister are you okay.?" I looked up to the sky and shook my head no. "What makes you think I'm okay I'm so hurt .. I can't even be happy with my own family because I was stuck on this guy that I actually thought cared about me!" I just wanted to cry. "Everything is going to be okay he liked you I know he did because he wouldn't shut up talking about you and he took you out to places and didn't mind David I think he was just scared." I looked at her "scared of what I feel like you know something." She put her hand on my lap "he isn't ready to be a dad." I don't know why that felt like a bullet went straight to my heart but it did. I got up and went to my room. I put David in his crib and just laid there. I hated Edward I hated Jason what the fuck am I going through this for. I don't regret my son but all these guys... Why..?