What Now?

I hate you.

Text message after text message the text got bad to worse.

"I fucking hate you I don't even want you as my wife. Your just a child having a baby imagine what people are going to say about you when you have that baby." - Edward

I didn't want to text back I was sitting in my closest crying my eyes out. The text messages kept on coming in than he sent me a picture of him and some girl. The girl didn't look familiar to me at all. Than he texted me.

" why can't you be this fun huh? You were before now your so lame." - Edward

I don't think I can handle all this at one time. I got more and more depressed and seeing that picture just hurt more. I couldn't stop re-reading the text messages.

Why is he treating me this way? What did I do so wrong? Am I really this worthless? Does everyone see me this way? I got up and got a knife sat on the closet floor and just wanted to end it. The knife was so close to my wrist ..... But than I finally felt my boy kick.. He kicked again and agin like he was telling me "mommy stop it I'm still in here." I threw the knife and got up and lied on my bed. He was moving all night it felt amazing to feel my little boy moving around. "Your just a miracle baby you always know when to save my life. I love you baby." I fell asleep.

It was already summer time and the closer it was to my due date. My little boy was going to be born on September 28. I woke up with 40 missed calls and 20 text messages. All from Edward I didn't bother to read them and just put my phone in my pocket and walked to the kitchen. "Good morning baby." I walked right next to my mom and kissed her on the cheek good morning. "Are you hungry?" I nodded my head and told her I wanted pineapples. She cut me some and other fruits that's the only thing I can actually keep down. I felt full and drank a big class of water. My phone started ringing more than ever. "Hello?." ... "Babe why haven't you been answering the phone I know what I said yesterday was fucked up but I'm sorry I love you okay." I didn't want to hear it and hung up the phone. I was so pissed by his actions. He kept texting me over and over but I honesty didn't want to hear it at all I was so over everything. It was already the afternoon and he came to my house I was at the porch listing to music. "Listen I know your mad I know your angry but please listen I was just angry okay I don't like when people try to run all Over I shouldn't be treating you this way because your still kinda sick and trying to gain weight for the baby but I'm not ready to be a father it's such a scary thing for me I'm only 17..." I looked up at him so much wanting to punch him right in the throat but I took a deep breath and just looked down on my lap. "Look Edward your being really selfish I'm only 14 years old! Only 14! And I'm not running away from this. You have to understand I love you I want us to he a family but I can't keep doing this if your going to keep treating me like shit. What did I do to you so wrong to get treated this way. I tried my best Edward I hate you... I can't stop lying to myself I hate you ...?" I started crying more tears rolled down my eyes... I looked at him and he just looked shock that I told him I hated him but I wasn't going to take it back not today.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit on his lap. I sat on his lap and just looked at him. I put my head down his shoulder and I felt tears falling on my face. I looked up and saw Edward crying. "Why are you crying.."? He put his face down on my lap "I don't want to lose you babe I really don't .... I d--ont want to lose you I really don't I love you so much the other night my friends started telling me how amazing you are and how beautiful you are and they wouldn't be surprise if you left me .. Your so beautiful and I never had a girl as beautiful as you.." I kissed him on the cheek and told him I wasn't going anywhere. We sat there and he started rubbing my stomach "my little boy are you being nice to your mommy." I laughed and told him he was being a very well behaved young little boy.