Chapter 15

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Louis' P.O.V

I am both afraid and relieved at the same time right now. I am happy he's in my arms again and he still loves me but I am scared how he's going to take all of this when he is done crying. I just don't know anymore, I used to be able to tell what he's going to do next but now I don't know anymore. Is he going to throw a fit at me or maybe just go back to ignoring me? I need to talk to him. Like a real talk, it'll take all day if we have to. I never realized how much he had no self confidence. He always put out this confident and flirty face to people. I realize now that it was all fake. I want to see the real Harry. It might be broken and sad but he is the one I fell in love with. Whatever face is his real one, I will still love him. He needs to understand that.

"Harry." I whisper to him, I think he is done crying now but he doesn't let me go

"Harry I think we need to talk." He still doesn't react but I know he's listening to me.

"Harry please don't ignore me again, this whole week has been already painful enough" I admit with a small sigh and I still get no reaction.

"Hazza?" I try using his old nickname and that gets him to react. He looks up at me and I see so much pain in those green orbs I feel like crying again but I need to be strong for him.

"Haz please talk to me. Will you do that please? Tell me what's wrong." I plead, I just need something. He gets up and I expect him to leave the room but instead he just sits up beside me and stares back at me.

"What's wrong? Really Lou you can't figure that one out already?" He has a point

"Okay I admit, it was a stupid question I am sorry. Got you to talk though didn't I?" I smirk at him and I get half a smile from him but it goes away quickly. Better than nothing.

"Louis there's nothing to say."

"Yes there is Haz, you know it's true we're not leaving this room until we talk."

"Well we're talking now aren't we?" I glare at him and he rolls his eyes.

"Seriously Lou, I think I've said everything I had to say." He seems unsure and hesitates before saying that and he looks down at his feet.

"You're biting your cheek." I point out

"What?" He looks back up at me, confused.

"Whenever you won't look at me and you bite your cheek I know you're lying." He stares back at me eyes wide and with a frown.

"How do you know that?" He questions and now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

"Haz, we have been best friends for a while, I know you like the back of my hand." His eyes harden when I say the last part.

"No you don't, no one does." My face must have shown my surprise from his burst of anger and he seems to calm himself down.

"No one knows me." He repeats like saying it to himself more than to me. He starts playing with his left arm and doesn't seem to notice, like it's a habit. I've often seen him do that, like scratching it or maybe pinching it I'm not sure. He seems out of it now.

"Harry?" I try to bring him back to reality. I grab his arm that he is basically now scratching a lot and he winces when I touch it and takes his arm away. I frown. He's never really winced that much at my touch, what's wrong with that arm? My eyes suddenly go wide. No. That's not possible.

FLASHBACK

"Haz it's so hot outside what are you doing in a long sleeve?" I laugh at my silly curly boy and he just smiles nervously and shakes his head.

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"Lou I don't want to go swimming" Harry complains as I drag him to the pool in our hotel.

"C'mon don't worry we won't get caught."

"But it's cold I want to go back to the hotel room." He pulls back and when I see his eye I see nervousness and... is that fear? I sigh but give in.

"Alright fine; hotel room." I say disappointed and he just gives me a sympathetic smile before heading back inside.

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"I like your bracelets Harry" A little 12 year old girl smiles at him while pointing at both his wrists. I see him freeze but then thanks her quietly making her blush. While she turns around I see his face fall but when he sees that I am looking manages a quick smile before turning back to the fans.

END OF FLASHBACK

I stare at him in horror. Hoping no praying I am wrong. I have to be. There is no way but then again... It would explain so much. I grab his arm and lift up his sleeve. He pulls away quickly but he is too late. I got time to see it. Cuts, scars all over his forearm, some look older than others. He brings his arm to his chest like as protection and sees my face, the look I must be giving him but I am too much in shock. How did I never see it? How could he do that to himself? How could he do this to his beautiful body? Was hurting himself really the last resort? I don't understand and I still don't move or say anything and we are both staring at each other, neither breaking the silence. Finally as he sees I am not reacting tears start to stream down his cheeks.

"You're not going to say anything?" He says with a shaky voice and I still don't answer.

"You have nothing to say anymore? I thought you wanted to talk Louis huh?" His eyes just seem so sad but my body can't seem to process normally anymore. Finally he gets up the bed and goes to leave when he turns back at the door frame.

"Sorry to be such a disappointment Lou." He says his voice roach and shaking and with one last look back runs down the stairs and I am guessing to; the beach.

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