The Heartbreaker (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 31

I look up at Louis, afraid of what I might see in his face. Fear? Disgust? Pity? I finally meet his eyes and I see his blue orbs filled with tears and something I did not expect... is that pride? He jumps and hugs me tightly while I am still confused from his reaction. I finally return his hug and when he lets go he sees the confusion in my eyes.

“Louis why did you hug me? I don’t understand. Aren’t you disgusted by my past? Or I don’t know disappointed in me?” I ask, furrowing my brows. This makes no sense.

“Harry I am neither disappointed nor disgusted in you. It’s the opposite really I am so proud that you got through all of that and you decided to change for your mum, you did it yourself. It takes a lot Harry some people aren’t as strong as you and for that I am proud. I am not disappointed everyone goes through rough times and what you were going through wasn’t a small thing. We all make mistakes but we move on and it’s in the past Harry. The past is the past and we can’t change it no matter what we do. I am touched that you trusted me enough to tell me this Harry, I love you and I will always be there for you.” By the time Louis finishes his speech I am in tears and when he is done I kiss him. I grab his face with my hands and bring him closer before he can add anything else. No one had ever said something like this to me.

“How did I get so lucky, I don’t deserve you” I whisper to him, our foreheads touching. He opens his bright blue eyes and without adding anything kisses me again on the lips, just a peck but I felt the love in the couple seconds where his lips touched mine. I put my head on his shoulder and cuddle into him. He kisses my forehead and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers together. After a couple minutes of just sitting there like this, comfortably and cuddling I hear him sigh and realize this conversation is not over. I pull myself up from Louis and sit back down properly, my back leaning on the sofa. I face Louis once more and brace myself for the rest.

“Harry you told me about your past and I am really grateful for that I really am but I still have some questions about more recent events.” He tries and says the nicest most possible way and I can sense his nervousness so I simply nod. He seems to understand because he frowns and I can see him deep in his thoughts. As he tries and assembles them I admire his beautiful features; his cheekbones and the way he purse his lips when he is thinking really hard. How he constantly brushes a hand through his hair without noticing. I get pulled out of my daydreaming when he finally talks.

“Okay so you have a history with depression but you changed school after and it went away. What triggered it again this year?” He asks and I saw that question coming from miles away honestly.

“All the hate I guess, the stress of always being the one people looked up to, dealing with my sexuality but mostly the hate I guess.” I shrug my shoulders. He nods understandingly.

“Okay so why didn’t you talk to any of us when you started cutting again?” I saw him wince slightly saying the word “cutting” but I pretended not to notice.

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to disappoint you guys or that you’d think I am crazy. Also I guess I was ashamed.” I look down as I talk and I feel him move closer and he puts a finger under my chin and forces me to look back up at him.

“Harry we would never think you’re crazy alright? None of the boys would.” I nodded slightly and he let go of me.

“So you haven’t done it since we got together right?” I look away again ashamed and I hear him gasp.

“It didn’t stop that fast, at first it was less and less but then I would be left alone once more and the voices in my head would take over completely. I wanted to stop. For you, and I did. Well that is until recent events I guess.”