Feelings

Admittance

We were loading onto the bus when Luke started to ask everyone where Michael was. Of course being the guys , they over reacted , acting like idiots , saying they would have to find a new guitarist. I started to walk around the hotel looking for him. I looked in the cafeteria , it was pizza day. I looked in the arcade , Michael loves video games. I couldn't find him. I had an strange feeling to check the bar , I knew Michael wouldnt be in there but I thought I should check. I walked into the bar and got strange looks from everyone , considering I was wearing a green day tank top , and neon green shorts with my white converse. I guess it's not the type of clothing to wear to a bar , even if it is just a hotel bar and not a fancy bar.

I looked around for a minute but didn't see him. Suddenly I had to go pee , so I quickly rushed to the bathroom. As I made my way out of the bathroom , somebody grabbed my hand. I turned quickly to see this giant old fat man.

"Hey pretty lady. You wanna come home with me?" He was drunk. Come on its two in the afternoon , I mean seriously. I strughtled to get out of grab but he was way to strong.

The man then fell to the floor. I looked up to see Michael. He reached out his hand and I gladly took it , ready to get out of there.
We walked to the bus and piled on.

"I see you found him." Calum said.

"Yup." Was all I said and I headed to the bathroom. I closed the door and sat on the sink. That was close. I need to be more careful. No actually , I dont need to be an idiot and go searching for Michael. I should have left his ass.
I was calming down a bit when the door swung open. Michael came busting in and locked the door.

"What the hell where you doing in there?" He whispered.

"I was looking for you."

"Why? So you could get yourself killed?"

"No we had to leave and you were taking to long."

"So?" He asked. I hopped off of the sink and stood infront of him.

"Why were you in the bar?" I asked him getting a little bit louder.

"Shh." He shushed me then he sighed. "Kay. We need to talk."

"There is nothing to talk about Michael." I looked down.

"Yes there is."

"Ok then what is there to talk about? Huh? Cause I dont know what you want me to say. You want me to say that I'm okay with you liking me? Cause I don't know I am. You want me to tell you that I love you? Of course I do. Ive loved you since I was ten Michael. We're supposed to be best friends. You promised me that. Remember?"

He nodded. "I remember."

"Then why would you do this? Why did you have to go and ruin everything." I stormed out of the bathroom. He followed me out , obviously still wanting to talk about this.

"Cause I thought maybe , just maybe , you might love me the way I love you. Not the brotherly way you love Luke , Ashton , and Calum. But actually love Kaydan. I hoped that you would care as much as would." He stared at me. The rest of the guys gathered afound us but not too close , just barely enough to see the whole thing.

"Dont you dare say that I dont care. Who was the one who helped you through your breakups? Your cutting? Michael look at me. I wasn't there all those times for support. No I was there because you're my best friend , and you called me. I was there for you! Because that's what you do when you love someone." I walked away and into the bedroom. I crawled into my bunk and layed there. Nobody came in to check on me. They knew better. They alwas knew it was better for me to blow off steam.

I had admitted my feelings for Michael , that honestly , I didnt even know I had. How was I supposed to know that I actually had real love for Michael. Not brotherly love , real love. I didnt think it was possible to fall in love with your best friend. If thats the case , and I'm really in love with Michael , then I need to get my head on straight.