Feelings

Grow up

Kaydans pov

I locked myself in Michael's room , not bothering to listen to Ashton's cry's. He had done this to me , why was he crying? It's not like I had caused him so much stress that it had caused him to lose a baby. That was me. They sat on the stairs in front of Michael's room , and I could hear Michael give out some soft crys , and some from Ashton. He and Michael had sat on the stairs for a while , finally I heard Ashton leave. After what had seen like an hour or two , someone knocked on the bedroom door. After me ignoring many more knocks , they walked away. Unfortunately a couple minutes later the door opened anyway , and in came Michael.

"Go away." I whispered , not bothering to look up. I didn't care what Michael ha do say , I just wanted to be alone.

"I'm not gonna do that." A soft voice , that I knew wasn't Michael's , said. I looked up to see my mom standing beside Michael. I hadn't seen my mom in what felt like months , but was only a couple of weeks.

"Momma." I ran to her and we both fell to the ground. I sobbed into her chest as she rocked me , telling me how sorry she was that this happened to me and that it was going to be okay. I honestly wanted believe her , but I wasn't sure.

"I trusted him." I cried hysterically.

"I know baby." She rubbed my back.

"What am I gonna do?" I glanced over at Michael who was still standing by the door. His face was red and puffy , it was obvious that had been crying a lot. I don't know if he was crying because of the baby , or because I was crying. When we were kids , I fell off of the swing , and I cried a lot. But I think that Michael cried more than I did. He is very sensitive , so when I was ever hurt it was like he felt my pain but 100 times worse.

"We move on , baby. That's all we can do. You pick yourself off of the ground , and you keep going with your life. I know that this must be hard , but it will be okay. I wish we could rewind or turn back time and fix it all , but we can't do that , honey. And maybe , just maybe , you'll forgive Ashton , because as much as you hate him right now , I know that you love him , and I know that he didn't do this on purpose. Ashton's the sweetest boy I've ever met and if he had known that you were pregnant , I know for a fact that he wouldn't have done any of that stuff." After laying in her arms for a while she helped me off the ground and into Michael's arms , before leaving the room.

"She's right Kaydan." Michael whispered. "Ashton wouldn't do that on purpose. I've had some time to think about this and I'm sure now. At first I wanted to kill him , but maybe we should forgive him."

"He killed my baby , Michael." I screamed.

"No , Kaydan. Stress killed our baby. Ashton didn't legitimately kill the baby. The whole situation with Clayton , and the Ashton and Bryana thing , killed the baby. Gosh , we need to stop this. We didn't know the baby , I mean we knew about for a day. Yes it's sad , but it doesn't matter this much. You love him , Kaydan."

"Michael , shut up!" I begged him.

"No. Don't you start denying it now. You've admitted that you love him."

"But he doesn't love me." I quieted down. I knew that I was lying to myself. I heard what Ashton said , and when he said it my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. But I chose to ignore it anyway. I mean what if he didn't mean it , and he was just saying anything to get me to be not mad at him.

"God dammit Kay , were you not listening at all earlier? He said he loves you , you heard him. This is crazy , you know that right? He admitted his feelings , he apologized , he begged you Kaydan. He begged and you did nothing. Stop acting like a damn baby , and grow up. Go to Ashton and be with him , like you're supposed to." He slammed his fist into the door and walked out.

I knew Michael was right , and I knew he was mad. It's easy to tell when he gets mad , although he doesn't get mad often. But when he does , I've learned to eat him have his space. But I needed to talk to Ashton now. Michael didn't need to give me a lecture. I knew everything he was saying , before he ever said it. The thing is that I needed the lecture. I needed to be yelled at , and I needed someone besides myself to tell me to grow up. I was over reacting over my baby. It wasn't as worse as I was acting like it was.

I got up from the bed and walked downstairs , where Michael was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

"Mikey." He looked up at me. Michael's pretty green eyes were a greyish color and the white part was red. "I'm really sorry Mikey. I overreacted , I know that now." He came over to me and hugged me tightly.

"Can you take me to Ashton's." I asked.

"Of course." He nodded in response. We sat in silence the car ride there. It was good though , because it gave me time to think about what I was going to say. Honestly , I had no clue what to say. It was nerve racking , and I was scared that after what happened a few hours ago , he was going to shut me out.

We arrived at Ashton's house for the second time today. It was now becoming night time and the sun was setting.

"Will you say outside? I wanna do this alone." He nodded and I walked up to the house. I knocked a couple time before Ashton swung the door open.

"If you're hear to yell at me some more , I don't want it." He sighed. I didn't say anything to him. I pushed the door open so that I was face to face with him. I had nothing to say. All I could do was kiss him. So I did. I pressed my lips hard onto Ashton's. It took him a couple of seconds but he starts to kiss back. It was just like when we kissed the first time , except this time it was better. I'm not sure why but maybe it's because I know what I feel and I know what I want this time.

"You kissed me." He said in shock , when we pulled apart. "I felt it." He smiled.

"Me too." I agreed.

"No I mean the first time we kissed. I felt it that time too. I never thought of you as anything but a little sister to me. So when we kissed , and I felt that feeling , that's why I freaked out. That's why I tried to hide it , and I'm so sorry I did because if every kiss feels that good I wish I would have done it sooner." He laughed.

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "It isn't your fault that I lost the baby. I shouldn't have blamed you for that. You weren't the only thing that was causing me stress , and I was pushing all the blame on you. It wasn't right of me to do."

"It's okay Kaydan. I shouldn't have been putting any stress on you , pregnant or not." He teared up.

"Don't cry Ash. You're gonna make me cry." I laughed , wiping his tear off his cheek.

"I love you Kaydan , and I'm sorry that it took me so long to tell you. Ever since the kiss , I smile like an idiot when I think of you , or when I hear your name , even when you talk to me. I love you."

"I love you too."

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Okay. This is the end of the story , but I hope you enjoyed it.

If you liked this one , I will have more books up later.

But for now , goodbye.

-Karli