Feelings

News

"Thanks for coming with me Michael."I sighed as we waited for the doctor to come back in. Michael decided to come with me. He went on and on about how this is his baby and he was gonna be there for it. I thought it was amazing that Michael was the father of my baby. I couldn't imagine what I would do if it turned out to be Clayton's baby. I would have freaked out , Luke would have freaked out , and Michael definitely would have freaked out. I don't think that I could have handled that.

"No problem. But you do realize that we are gonna have to tell everyone right?" I hadn't even thought that at all. My mom is gonna kill me , although she might be a little bit easier on me because she kinda likes Michael. But she'd definitely be angry at me , I'm not suppose to be nineteen and pregnant. I'm supposed to be enjoying college and making something with my life. She wouldn't like this very much. I think Luke will be pretty mad though. He'll probably end up trying to beat Michael up , but eventually he'll cool down.

"I know Mikey , but I don't know how." I sighed.

"My moms gonna freak." Michael laughed.

"Luke's gonna freak." I added.

"Your brothers gonna kill me." He gasped.

"You're his best friend , he's not gonna kill you." I laughed.

We sat there laughing at the thought until the doctor came into the room. The doctor had already ran a bunch of test on the baby , and now we were just waiting on the results.

"Well Kaydan , I have some bad news." She started off with , which was never good. No matter what situation you're in , starting off with bad news is never good.

"What is it?" Michael and I asked at the same time.

"Have you been under a lot of stress lately?" She asked me.

"Yes." Ashton had put me under a whole lot of stress this past month. With him going back and forth about his feelings , and the Bryana thing. Everything keeps getting out of hand , and stressing everybody out.

"This is going to be hard to hear , but when someone in your condition is under stress , they tend to lose the baby." She said slowly.

"Are you saying that she has no baby inside of her anymore?" Michael asked.

"Yes. I'm sorry." She sighed as she looked at me with pity. Michael sat down beside me and rubbed my back.

"I have to go." I got up and walked out.

"Kaydan wait." Michael called after me. I didn't wait though , I stormed out of the office , and didn't stop until I was at Michael's car.

"Kaydan what are you think you're doing?" He yelled , trying to catch up to me.

"Michael just open the car and give me the keys." I yelled at him. I wasn't going to sit around and do nothing about this.

"Not until you tell me what's happening." He yelled back. Michale stood in front of me , with his arms crossed. I could see the look of concern in his eyes , and you could tell that he was hurting just as much as I was.

"I'm gonna kill Ashton. He made me lose my baby , and I know I didn't know or have the baby for that long but Michael that was our baby. He killed our baby. Maybe not physically but he did." I cried. Michael grabbed my arms and tried to calm me down. While he was distracted by trying to get me to breathe , I grabbed the keys from his hand and got into the front seat. He quickly fumbled into the passenger seat , while I started to drive.

We sat in silence until Michael decided to speak. "What if it wasn't just Ashton?"

"What?" I tried to stay focused on the rode.

"Clayton." He said simply.

"Seriously , you want to talk about that now?" I know that Michael and I hadn't talked about what happened , like at all. But I don't want him to bring that up now. We could talk about it later , when we didn't have something else to worry about.

"No Kay. What if what he did to you was the reason you lost the baby." He said quietly. I stopped the car quickly and looked at him. I couldn't think of anything to say. I was just sitting there , speechless. So many emotions going through my body ,but I didn't know how to express them. I just didn't know what to think or to do.

Michael was right. It wasn't just Ashton and his not knowing what he feels , that made me lose the baby. It was also Clayton. The man that I thought I was in love with , the man who brutally raped me , had a part in killing my baby. But I didn't care about Clayton , at all. All is wanted was to keep him at the back of my mind.

"I'm going to see Ashton." I said as I restarted the car.

"What about Clayton?" He panicked.

"I don't give a damn about him. It's Ashton , okay. Someone that I trusted , someone I'm in love with did this." I screamed.

"There it is." He smiled.

"Excuse me?"

"That's the first time that you've really admitted that you're in love with him." He laughed.

"I'm going to Ashton's." I sighed and he nodded , as I continued to drive. Eventually , Michael saw that I was shaky and made me pull over so that he could drive.

I thought that Michael would drive me someplace else , but he did what I wanted and drove me to Ashton's. He pulled up to his house , and I sat in the car. I wanted to go inside and yell at him , but I didn't have the courage to actually storm inside. So Michael did.

Michael's pov

Kaydan was so upset , she just couldn't go into his house.
So I told her I would , and I did.

"Irwin." I yelled. Ashton was old enough , so he had his own place now and didn't need to live with his parents. So I didn't have to worry about getting in trouble with his parents.

"What's up Michael." He said. I looked over and saw him and Bryana on the couch , snuggled up together.

"Kaydan was pregnant."

His face fell before he said. "That's great man."

"No. I said was Ashton."

"Wait , she lost the baby?" His voice saddened.

"Yeah. The doctor said that it was because if stress , and let me think what stress Kaydan has had lately." I paused. "Oh that's right. You. You're the reason Kaydan and I just lost our baby."

"How the hell is that my fault?"

"Because she trusted you Ashton. She feel in love with you , you jackass , but you had to say you didn't feel anything towards her. You had to go and lie to her and most importantly you lied to yourself. Kaydan has been through a lot and I've stood beside her through it all but watching her break down when she found out that you were the reason for this , it was the worst thing I've ever had to do.Kaydan means the world to me Ashton. She's my best friend and I love her to death. I would do anything for her. If you can't man up and admit to what you feel , I'll never forgive you , because I know that you feel something for her. It's obvious that you don't love Bryana , so why are you still with her? This isn't fair to Kaydan , Ashton , and you know that. So make up or mind , or don't bother talking to her again." By this time I was finished and had tears streaming out of my eyes. I didn't even let him talk , I was out the door. When I had turned around , Kaydan was standing there crying. I'm guessing she had heard everything I had to say to Ashton. I wrapped my arms around her and walked her back to the car.

This wasn't over , I knew that.