Feelings

Secret

Kaydans pov

Waking up from the coma , was terrible. Waking up and actually remembering is worse. I remembered everything , the date , the wreck , everything. And it was all horrible.

Okay yes , I may have lied to everyone about not remembering , but I swear I did it for a good reason. Michael clearly said that he didn't want to be with me. To me the whole situation was a sign , a sign that I had to start over. And lying was just the way to start over. This way I would be happy.

It had been a month since the accident , and Michael moved on , and he did just that with Lisa Crocker. He moved on with my biggest enemy! I mean even before we dated he knew that I hated her guts and still do. That is like total betrayal , but whatever.

Abbey is still dating Clayton but Like is still trying to win her over. He is still trying to come up a good song for her. And although I love talking to my brother , hearing every little detail over again , drove me insane.When I "found out" that Clayton and Abbey were dating , I faked being upset but I got over it.

I guess you could say that me and Michael's relationship is officially and totally over with. Although I have to pretend like I never knew we dated and that we are only best friends. It hurts to hide all this information from everyone but it's what needs to be done.

I've decided to keep a diary and that is were I am writing this now. I figured I would have to keep track of my life and all the drama.

"What the hell?" I jumped and turned around. Luke was standing over my shoulder reading what I had wrote.

"Luke. I can explain."

"You were faking?" He was angry. Oh boy.

"I had to. Michael said he didn't want to be with me anymore. This way we could all be happy." Luke nodded. "Please don't tell anyone at all Luke. Please let this be our secret?" I begged him.

"Fine." I jumped into his arms and hugged him. "You're the best brother ever." I jumped off and e smiled.

"Im not happy with it though."

"You dont have to be." I giggled.

Luke slumped down into a chair and pouted.

"How is the song writing going?" I asked him.

"Pretty good. I think it's going to be perfect. It's really going to win her over." He smiled.

"Im glad your hapoy Luke. You'll get her. Ugh finally I hace someone I can actually talk to about everything."

"Kay I'm not sure how long I can keep this secret from everyone. What about mom? Can we at least tell her?" He asked me.
I nodded in approval and he quickly dialed her number.

We quickly explained things to my mom and let me tell you. She was pretty pissed. She got over it though , she was just happy that I was for once really happy.

Luke and I sat back down.

"What's wrong with you?" Luke asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You. I don't quite understand any of this. How do you feel about Michael moving on?"

I didn't know what to really say about any of this. How did Luke want me to answer this? Calmly? Angry?

"How do you think I feel? Michael is down the street , giving Lisa all his love. While I'm sitting at home , wanting his love. He's there giving her tge biggest smile he can. I'm here watching him be more than okay , while I'm dying inside. He's kissing her lips , feeling her touch and I'm still waiting here at home. And I remember when I had met him ; it was very clear that someday we would be together. He looked at me in a way that nobody else had. He handled me with care , and he was special. But as the months went on , things got more difficult and we were faced with challenges ; situations that were just to hard. I should have begged him to stay , I should have told him that I remembered. What we had was electric , everybody saw that. He showed passion towards me and in that way , I understood him. And I loved him. I loved him. I loved him." Luke wrapped his arms around me as I continued to cry. "And I still love him."