Feelings

The Party

"Mikey I don't want to go." I whined as Michael pushed me into the car. Today is my birthday and I just turned nineteen. I can't say that I'm excited but I'm a little happy about it. I guess nineteen is a big accomplishment , I mean I made it this far in life.

Michael cane to my dorm room this morning , like super early , and shook me awake. I mean he literally shook me awake and I may have kicked him in a place I'm not suppose to but then again he shouldn't have woke me up.

He woke me up this morning wanting to take me to miniature golf to celebrate my birthday. It was a sweet gesture but I have no idea why he decided to do that , because he knows that I absolutely despise miniature golf.

"We are going golfing and you will like it." Michael said while starting the car. Michael was driving his moms old car that looks like its from outer space. I think that's why he drives it like all the time. It's ridiculous. It makes this god awful clanking noise that just drives me insane.

"You know I don't like miniature golf." I sighed and sat back in my seat.

"It's a good thing we aren't going there." He chuckled.

I smiled at his little laugh. "What have you got planned in that little head of yours Michael?" He shook his head at me and continued to drive.

He drove around various of neighborhoods that I barely recognized until Michael got a text message. He then turned the car around and drove some more in the opposite direction of the miniature golf course. I tried to look at who the text was from but he was quicker than me shoved his phone into his skinny jeans front pocket. He wears such tight jeans I'm not sure how he does it , cause I can barely wear skinny jeans.

"Michael." I said sternly. "Michael Clifford if you don't tell where we are going I swear." I yelled. Michael smirked at me while I stared at him with wide eyes. He never seems to surprise me when it comes to his little games and sometimes I love his games. But today I just wasn't in the mood. I still haven't heard from the doctor about if I'm pregnant or not. That has me worried and the fact that I haven't talked to Ashton in a long time. I've been craving Ashton's presence. I need him to be beside me for some reason. This feeling is different than the feeling I had for Michael. Me and Michael's relationship was live but it was a lot of lust no doubt about it. But when u had kissed Ashton I didn't feel that feeling. I felt something more.

I started to scream loudly for no reason. When we were little I would do this to him and Luke so that I could get what I wanted. It always worked.

"Are you kidding me Kaydan? Damn you're so childish. I try to have a little fun with you and you ruin everything. So you know what , fine we are going to back to your dorm. Hope you have a happy freaking birthday." He screamed.

I stopped screaming and sank down into my chair. Michael rarely yelled around me , well actually he rarely yelled around anyone.

After what seemed like an eternity later , Michael pulled into the parking lot. We both got out and walked silently to my room.

"You didn't have to walk with me Michael." I stopped at the door.

"Don't be a bitch about that too. I was trying to make sure you got here safely." He sighed. I turned around opened the door.

"SURPRISE!!" Luke , Abbey , Calum , Ashton and Bryana jumped out and yelled. My smiled faded when I saw Bryana. Yup , that's Ashton's girlfriend the model. There she was , standing there all pretty and tall. Ashton had his arm on her waist and they were standing close for my liking.

"What's going on?" I asked to no one. Not once taking my eyes off of Ashton and Bryana.

"It's a surprise party for you Kaydan." Abbey said.

"Yeah I get that Abbey , I'm not stupid. What I'm asking is why is she here?" I yelled and pointed at Bryana.

"Kaydan." Luke warned me.

"No. She needs to leave." I yelled some more. Enraged I threw my purse across the room , almost hitting Calum. I felt bad but I didn't notice because I was still staring Ashton and Bryana. She was now holding onto Ashton as if her life depended on it.

"Wait Kay calm down." Ashton spoke up. I tried to his my little smirk that was suddenly appearing on my face.

"I want her out. I want her out now."

"Not gonna happen Kaydan." Ashton told me. "She's my girlfriend , and she can be here with me if she wants."

"Oh really? What about everything you told me maybe a week or so ago?" I smirked a little harder. Bryana's eyebrows furrowed and looked at Ashton.

"Don't start this now Kaydan." Ashton stepped towards me.

"Kay come on." Michael grabbed my hand and tried to pull me away.

"No Michael. This is my dorm room. I want her out." I pulled my hand away and focused my gazed back onto Ashton.

"Leave." I looked at Bryana. "If you want to keep your supermodel looks , then leave." I shouted. Luckily she started towards the door and slammed it.

"You." I pointed at Ashton. "This is all your fault."

"My fault?"

"Yes your fault. You had to ruin everything. I'm not understanding you , first you tell me you like me and then you bring her to my party? How could you?" I sreamed. "You told me you felt something when we kissed. You asked me if I felt something too. Truth is I did. I felt something that I've never felt with anybody else before. That scared me. And you knew that. So why would you bring her here?" By now Calum , Luke , Abbey , and Michael had left the room and this time I was happy about that. Because this wasn't going to be pretty.

"Why are you so threatened by her? She my girlfriend , I love her. Yes I felt something you for you but I've know my feeling for Bryana for a long time now. My little crush on you couldn't happen. Can't you understand that?"

"I understand. I understand that she's prettier , she's funnier , she's better at everything. I mean she is a damn model. And I was going to say that maybe I'd be better at loving you.
But honestly , she's probably better at that too. Now I understand why you chose her and not me." I walked over to my bed , waiting for him to say something , but hoping he would walk away.

"Why are you fighting with me?" He whispered.

"You don't get it do it?" He shook his head. "I'm not fighting with you , I'm fighting for you. I'm not even jealous , I'm trying to show you that I care. Maybe a little too much." I yelled again.

We sat there in silence for a while.

"Just leave Ashton. I can't do this anymore , if you don't feel the same then why are you here?" I barely spoke. Ashton heard me and slowly walked to the door. He turned and was about to say something , but he closed his mouth and walked out.

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Okay guys please don't give me crap about this chapter. I have no hate towards Bryana. I actually love her and Ashton's relationship , it's adorable.

Anyway. I hope you like this chapter even though it took me forever to make.

-Karli