Unusual Reality (One Direction FF)

Chapter 22 - My Little Secret

Zara's P.O.V

They didn't know, they couldn't ever find out about my little secret. If they did, nothing would plan out as it was supposed to. I was going to do it the next day.

The Next Morning

I turned to face my clock and saw the bright, neon green numbers that told me that it was five o'clock in the morning. It was the time for my plan to unravel. As silently as possible, I quickly tip-toed my way to the kitchen. Luckily, Niall wasn't in there, eating, so I grabbed the sharpest and longest knife from the drawers. After rummaging through the wooden drawers, I finally found a suitable knife. I lay it down on the kitchen table; I couldn't leave without telling anybody why. 

I ripped a piece of paper from the shopping list, that was stuck on the fridge with a magnet, and quickly scribbled down a note: 'Dear everyone, my time has come and I have made the difficult decision of taking my life away. Although you may disapprove of this, I thought it was best. Hopefully, it will make sure that I won't be in your way or stop you from doing anything that you want to. Please tell Chloe about my death. I love you and will always remember you.' It was a pathetic attempt of a goodbye note, but it was all I could think about at that moment.

Before I actually committed suicide, I thought I should have a light breakfast. Although my life would be gone anyway, I was rather hungry and didn't want to die on an empty stomach. After I had a little cereal, I started washing up my bowl and spoon; I wasn't used to having a dishwasher, and, frankly,  I didn't trust those machines and I really don't know why.

Niall's P.O.V

I woke up with a shock of hunger. I realised that I hadn't eaten anything since realising that Zara wasn't ill anymore. If I went on like this, I would become ill. I stared at the time and realised that it was about half past five. That was the longest amount of time I had ever been without food! I trailed off downstairs quietly, so as not to wake anybody up, and unusually, I found that the kitchen light was on. I could also hear some running water.

I crept into the kitchen, not making a sound. Luckily, it was only Zara. Before I spoke to her, I noticed a piece of paper and the sharpest knife on the kitchen table. Without her realising, I scanned through the piece of paper. A suicide note? Was Zara going to kill herself? I gave a short, little gasp and she jerked around, guilt and sadness entering her eyes.

"Zara.. Zara, what is this?" I held up the piece of paper.

"It's nothing," she tried to grab the paper from me, but it was out of her reach. 

"Were you going to kill yourself?" I asked, once she had stopped trying to take the paper from me. I pulled out a chair from the table and sat down in front of Zara. She tried to back away, but I held onto her hands. She was avoiding my gaze. As a reply, she shrugged her shoulders.

"Zara, tell me right now, were you going to kill yourself?" I had a slight edge to my voice, as I was desperate for an answer.

"Y-yeah, I was," she said, holding my hands tighter.

"Why?" I asked, brushing one hand through her hair, "You've got so much to live for. Why throw it all away?"

"I'm always getting in the way and school bothers me a bit," she replied, looking towards the knife.

I reached out for the knife and made sure that she couldn't touch it, "No. Zara, you're never in the way and about what happened in the swimming pool, I made a mistake. Now you're better, but when you were ill, I didn't try to commit suicide. Zara, I'm going to have to tell Zayn and the boys about what happened." She nodded her head slightly and mumbled a quiet 'sorry'.