Unusual Reality (One Direction FF)

Chapter 30 - Because...

Zara's P.O.V

I rushed off into the bathroom and searched the bathroom cupboard for a sharp device. Anything. I haven't cut in a long time; the first time was when in my early stages of getting bullied. I went on YouTube and searched for 'Ways to relieve bullying'. I clicked on the first video, and now I regret it so much. 

The first time I started to cut, the first day actually, Ibrahim came into the bathroom. I stupidly forgot to lock the door. I winced at the pain, but this pain was nothing compared to how Chloe made me feel. 

Flashback

I pressed the blade onto my skin, biting my lip at the same time. Hopefully, the person on YouTube was right. Hopefully, all of my feelings will go. Cutting hurt but the YouTuber was right. I felt relieved after doing this to myself. After a couple of cuts, Ibrahim suddenly opened the door.

"Zara! What the hell are you doing?!" he exclaimed, slapping the blade out of my hand.

"I'm cutting," I replied simply, not knowing what a big deal this was. He grabbed my arm forcefully and placed it under the tap. He turned the cold water on, which washed away the blood.

"Why did you do it?" he asked, worried.

"I don't know," I answered, shrugging my shoulders.

"Of course you know!" 

"I-I don't!" 

He let go of my hand and hurried out of the bathroom. 

End Of Flashback

I should have told Ibrahim then and there. He didn't speak to me for a couple of weeks, ignoring me completely. Those two weeks were agonising. Because of this, cutting was now a daily routine, but I kept it as discreet as a nine year old could. Luckily he didn't catch me. The last thing I wanted now was for him to find out, yet again. Although I was only nine, I understood why Ibrahim ignored me; he was upset that I didn't trust him enough to explain why I cut. Ibrahim couldn't find out. Nobody could find out.

Suddenly, the door flew open. I prayed that it wasn't Ibrahim. I stood still.

"Zara..." Thank God it wasn't Ibrahim. I was such a rookie to leave the door open for the second time. I turned around to see Harry approaching me. He pulled the razor out of my hand and flung it into the sink. He checked my arm.

"I'm sorry!" That was the only thing I could say. I mean, why did he have to witness what I was doing to myself? He wet some tissues and placed it onto my arm.

"W-why?" he asked while taking care of my arm. I shrugged my shoulders. I needed to tell someone. Should I tell him now? Maybe later.

 "I-I don't kn-know," I replied. Just then, Niall stumbled into the room.

"Do you guys want -" Niall's eyes lit up, but then he turned upset, "Oh, God, Zara. You didn't..." I nodded my head. I felt like a traitor; I told Niall, no, I promised Niall that I wouldn't try to commit suicide again and I knew fair well that this would lead to it.

I stared at Niall's feet and I saw that he turned around to go and tell the boys.

"No, Niall!" I croaked, making Niall immediately turn around, "Niall, please. They can't know, especially Ibrahim." I didn't want Ibrahim to find out.

"Why?" Harry wanted to find out.

As much as I would have liked to, I didn't tell Harry, "Because."

"Alright, Zara, but if we catch you doing it again, we are going to tell," Niall knew that I was hiding something as well.

"Thanks,"  I forced a smile on my face. Luckily, the scars had dried up and they weren't visible if I wore a long sleeved t-shirt. Harry cleaned the razor and left the bathroom with it, leaving me and Niall together.