The Look Of Knowledge

37. Dare I Care

Julian

Fuck. My stomach twists at the sound of that familiar voice I've come to hate. Who other than my father would be so inopportune to knock on my window when I less want to be bothered.
I close my eyes hoping he might go away, vanish or something.

"Julian, there's so-" Mika's voice is soft compared to my harsh tone.

"I heard" I tell her, rolling down the window.

"Hello, son. Thought that was you" my father says.

"How?" I ask annoyed, knowing he couldn't have seen me, since I was laying down. "Nevermind.." I add, he probably remembers my car or something from one of his attempts to come uninvited into my former house, anyhow I don't care, I just want him to go.

"Hello, great to see you again, Mikaela, right?" He greets Mika with a smile and extends his hand inside my car to shake hers.

"Yes, nice to see you too Mr. Casablancas" she says returning the smile. I know she thinks I should be on good terms with my father too.

"Just John" he corrects her and she nods.

You see, she's seen my father a couple times through the years. He wants to be Cal's grandfather but I'm not gonna let him disappoint my son. He's gonna come, throw in a couple presents and disappear for a while, then as nothing happened give the kid toys again to make it up for his absence. Cal doesn't need him to be there only when he feels like it, he needs him to be a constant in his life, not just come around every 4 months, it's not okay for a kid. So I'm not gonna let him have it.

"Is that it?" I ask him, resting my elbow on the window. He looks down at me.

"What?"

"I mean, do you want something or did you just come to say hi?"

"Well, I saw your car and I thought I'd check on you" he says and I know he's getting annoyed. He starts his sentences with 'well' when he's giving into frustration.

Good.

"Alright, I'm good, as you can see" I tell him and he nods, then looks at Mika.

"How's Juliet?" He asks. He probably thinks I'm cheating on her or something. Sad to break it to you, old man, but I'm not like you one bit.

"We're not together anymore" I tell him. His eyes widen with surprise.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that son, what a-" I interrupt him when I feel his hand squeeze my left shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks, I'm fine. We gotta go, dad." I lie, turning the keys to start the car. His hand leaves my shoulder. I know he's trying very hard to make our relationship work. And I'm well aware that I'm not letting him. But I don't want him around anymore, it's as simple as that.

"Alright then" he says looking both sides since he's standing next to moving cars and then taking a step back. "I suppose I'll see you around" he adds. I don't answer and speed off leaving him standing there with his shit beige suit.

I turn when I arrive the end of the street to head to my appartment.

"I know what you're thinking" I tell Mika, who's staring at me. "But I don't want to talk about this, okay?"

"Okay" she says, looking away.

"We still have a lot to talk about, I'm driving us to my place" I inform her. I'm way to fucking happy to be thinking about my dad and shit. For once in a long time I'm curious about the future and what it holds for Mika and I.

"Okay" she says again in a neutral tone and turns to look outside the window.

"Right" I sigh and turn left on my street. We're about 15 blocks away but luckily there's no traffic so in less than 5 minutes we're at my door.