The Look Of Knowledge

43. The Man

Mika

The weather feels colder today and I curse to myself when a snowflake manages to sneak into my hoodie as I walk down the crowded streets of Brooklyn. I notice my pace is quicker because of the beat of Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've?) by Buzzcocks coming from my headphones, amazingly my hungover was mainly missing this morning. I arrive my destination and ring the bell. I've never been to Julian's new record label building. He's had it since he recorded his solo album, but we weren't seeing a lot of each other then, he was working crazy.. well he always disappears when he's working and let alone the fact he and the guys had been having problems. And Rich had me captive.

"Yes?" A voice sounds through the speaker by the door.

"Yeah, hello, um, I'm here to see Julian?"

"He's not here, you have to make an appointment" the female voice asks.

"I'm his um.. oh! No, not Julian, I meant um.. shit.. how was it? Mr.. Gerard.. Bleedinheart?" I knew he had a fake name, I don't think I got it right though, he changes it every few months.
The door makes a sound allowing me to get in. I walk up a few stairs and am greeted by a redheaded young lady behind a desk. I approach her with a smile which she returns.

"Hello, thank you" I say extending my hand to her, she takes it and we shake them.

"It's actually Gerard Bleedingeyes but close enough" she laughs. "What's your name?" She asks taking the phone and placing it on her ear.

"Mika" I reply looking around. The place seems cool, it has posters everywhere, there's a couple of Julian looking rather gorgeous with one of his dogs next to him. I don't think I've ever seen these photographs.

"Oh!" The lady exclaims and hangs up the phone. "You're Mika! So nice to meet you, I'm Sally. You can totally get in, it's the red door at the end of the hallway" she points to her left.

"Nice to meet you too Sally" I chuckle trying to hide my confusion.

"I'd suggest not knocking and just get in, I think he's been here all night so he's probably sleeping cause he hasn't came out since I arrived. But he's here, he left a note, so.."

I thank her and make my way through the hall until I arrive to the red door. I take off my hoodie and brush my hair back with my fingers. I hesitate for a second but open the door and get in. Classical music is blasting through the giant speakers, I quickly scan the space and notice I'm in the studio room, it's ambiented with red lights and everything looks kind of messy, there's wires everywhere on the floor, not like the ones The Strokes usually rent in NY or LA. I turn around to close the door and catch a glimpse of Julian's white dirty sneakers hanging from the armrest of a couch behind a huge console. I shut the door completely and make my way to him. As I get closer I can see more of his body laying on the brown leather couch. When I'm finally next to him I can see his face. His eyes are closed, his palms are clasped together and both his index fingers are pressed together as well under his chin. I can't tell if he's sleeping or very concentrated listening to the music.
I decide to wait and take a seat on a chair. I just observe him, his chest goes up and down at a quiet rhythm. It's soothing to see how calm he is without him getting nervous by my stare. The music from the violins sounds higher adding drama to the composition and Julian's chest starts to inflate and deflate faster almost like he was scared.

Julian suddenly opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling for a few seconds, then grabs the notebook and pen he had laying on his stomach. His hand writes something down at a quick pace, his eyes focused on the paper. Now's when I wonder how I'm gonna talk to him without startling him. After a minute or so he reaches his arm to his left to leave the notebook on a little table, as he does that he looks up and his eyes meet mine. He freezes and his upper and lower eyelids squint together as if he didn't really understood his sight. His eyebags are darker and deeper than usual.

"Hello" I say with a little wave of my hand. He looks at the door and then at me again.

"When did you..?" His voice comes out raspier as he rubs one of his eyes. His energy seems too low, he hasn't eaten obviously.

"A few minutes ago. I didn't know if you were sleeping or.. working" I tell him getting up from my chair and walking up to him as he puts his feet down on the floor. I sit next to him.

"Yeah, I was kind of.. writing some verses, I've been mixing up a couple sounds" his head motions in my way but his sight is now on his hands which are rubbing each other in front of him.

"I've been calling you. Did you sleep?" I ask already knowing the answer.

"Uhh not really, no." He kinda turns to look at me. I stare straight at him, I hate that Julian is so obsessed with his work. Well, I actually love how dedicated he is and how much he cares, but it's not good for him sometimes, times when he gets like this. Without thinking I get closer to him and softly leave a short kiss on his jawline.

He looks in my way with the corner of his eye and does that thing where he hides his lower lip behind the upper one and slowly licks it.

"What are you listening to?" I change the subject trying to distract myself from peeking what he wrote on the notebook in front of me. I'm so intrigued, he writes so beautifully and I always learn something from his words.

"Requiem Mass in D minor. It's Mozart."

"Do you listen to classical music while writing?"

"Not always but I think I'm going to sample this into one of the tunes I was working on earlier" Julian's voice is soft and slow, the way it used to be the times he drank when he promised himself he wouldn't, with guilt and zoning out.

"That's cool" I say awkwardly, the situation is just awkward. "Do you want me to leave you alone to it?" I ask placing my hand on his right hand which is supporting his chin and I trace the length of his index finger with the tip of mine. Julian looks at them and opens his allowing me to go further into his palm drawing little shapes and tracing his lines.

"No.." he quietly says after about ten seconds. Then suddenly takes a deep breath in and straightens himself up. "I'm sorry, I'm just tired" then he rests his back against the back of the couch. I look at him over my shoulder as he stretches his right arm and starts stroking my earlobe, then traces my ear all the way up to my temple and hides a lock of hair behind my ear. 

"You don't look so good" I admit. He half smiles.

"Forgot to put fundation today, sorry" he laughs at his own joke and throws himself on my thighs.

"It's foundation" I correct him stroking his back softly. He's huge. I think his ocasional depression is quite contagious but I don't mind, I wouldn't like to be happy when he's miserable. I couldn't.

We stay like that for a moment until I hear him softly snoring. At least I did something right in this for once.

-
Ok that was 2 chapters in like two seconds, you little dipshits can't complain!
by the way, heyyyy