The Look Of Knowledge

11. Fuck Ups

Julian's POV:

"I'm an asshole" I said to Albert before he threw me the 'Go on, you know you're gonna tell me anyway' look.

"I forgot she was so young" I said.

Before, as she talked all I was thinking about was how her dark pink lips would move and feel if I was licking them. And then I remembered she was like 6 years younger than me, fucking underage and had actually no clue of anything going on around her. Like, really, she seems smart but I know she's completely fucking clueless. I know I was at her age.

"How old is she?" Albert asked lighting a joint.

"She's turning 18 I don't know when" I said rubbing my face with my both hands.

"What?! I thought she was like 20 or something, she's kinda mature for her age" He was obviously talking about her body, I knew Albert as if I had birthed him.

"No dude, she just discovered Nirvana like 2 years ago, she's really just a baby. But I feel guilty 'cause she's really hot, y'know? Her voice turns me on" I told him as he handed me a joint. "It's just, I feel like... I dunno, I feel.."

"Like your father?" I looked at him blankly, I didn't actually see that coming but it made everything fit, you know? It made sense, I had to have something of him in me more than DNA, like a proof that I'm his son or something, I just didn't expect one of the worst things.

Albert probably saw my face because he patted my back.

"Jules, relax, alright? Have fun, fool around. There's gonna be like a hundred chicks at the party" he said as I inhaled through my nose the smoke that escaped from my mouth.

"Right, but I like her" I gave him the joint back.

"If Ryan finds out he'll fuck your ass, man. You don't wanna be assfucked by Ryan"

"Whatever, man. Ryan is al blah blah" I said and got back inside already feeling a little lighter and puffy eyed.

"We should get going" I heard Ryan shout and everyone gathered their belongings. Mika was talking to her friend and they walked past me.

We got in the van.

She got in too and occupied the last seat left next to Rich, since Ryan decided he would drive. Next to Rich were Niko and Albert. I was behind with Nick and the blonde friend girl. Fab was making Ryan company telling him (for the 20th time) about that time he almost ate a cockroach thinking it was a really big jewish raisin.

The back of Mika's seat covered all her face, I could only see the top of her head and it was bugging me because Rich's seemed to approach more and more, like really fucking annoyingly close.

I actually didn't know why I was being so obsessive about her, but there was just something in the way she was that attracted me more than the usual, and that was it. No explanation whatsoever.

I turned to my left to talk to Nick but he was already drooling al over the girl's face. Not intending to stop his fun I took the bottle he was holding and appropriated it. My only friend through the rest of the trip. Never failed me. 'My lover' I thought to myself but then noticed how pathetic I sounded. Even to my brain who was my only spectator.

When we arrived I didn't really know what I wanted. I didn't know if I wanted to do the right thing or the wrong thing. Well I did kinda wanted to do the wrong thing but didn't know what feeling to follow. Like the should or the want, does that make any sense? Well, whatever.

Mika's POV:

Alright so, I was drunk but not that drunk to let Rich kiss me there in front of everyone. He was cute and sweet but I couldn't really see him as anything else than a friend or whatever.