Lost (A Loki's Daughter Fan fiction)

Rules

{ Loki }

I wake up from sleeping in her bed, still missing her. I want to see her. I need to see her.

I get out of bed and start walking to the bifrost, trying to look as casual as possible.

When I get there I ask Heimdal to send me down to her.

" No Loki" he says calmly.
"Why not?" I demand, already knowing the answer.
"You know why, Loki"

He's right. I know exactly why. Because if she sees me while she is still trying to remember, then she may loose all her memories forever. But still.

"SEND ME TO HER NOW!!!!" I scream, fearing that the last of my sanity has just left me.

He stands stalk still and seems unphased by my yelling.

"Do you really want her to forget?" He asks still and calm, his voice steady and certain.

No I don't. I just miss her.

I shake my head slowly, and he nods looking away into the distance.

After a few minutes of silence I ask him another question.

"Can you see her?" My voice is shaky with the hint of more tears to come. Not now! I can't cry infront of people. It makes me look weak. I blink the tears away.

"Yes" heimdal says finally.

I look at him expectant growing impatient like my youner self. Myself before Sygin and Layana. I can't go back to the way it was before them. I would be letting them down and breaking every promise I made to myself.

"Layana is strong and smart, you dont need to worry, Loki" He finally finishes.

"I know, it's just that she is so young. She's only 9." I say trying as hard I can to keep the tears away.

Heimdal looks at me with his faraway gaze, "Loki, Layana is your daughter. If anyone can make it through this its her."

He's right. She seems to have picked up the determination and stubbornness from me.

"You're right. Sorry to have bothered you heimdal, goodbye." I say beginning to turn around.

"Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you how she is doing." He offers.

I nod, still facing away, "I'll come"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Around dinner time I hear people moving about ouside Layana's room.

I dont feel hungry

"Loki," my brother, thor's, sympathetic voice comes through the door, "I know you miss Layana, but you have to eat."

I know I have to eat but I havent felt hungry since I came back from the desert.

Thor opens the door and comes in, closing the door behind him. His blue eyes are full of empathy and love.

"Brother you have to eat." He says looking me in the eyes.

"Im not hungry" my voice wavers.

"Brother, come to the meal with me, and at least have some bread" He says, as if speaking to a child.

"fine" I agree reluctantly.

Thor smiles and helps me up. I flash him a small smile then quickly turn away and try not to cry.

The last dinner I went was with Layana. That was the night they attacked.

"Layana," I called from outside her room, "are you dressed and ready to go to dinner?"
I was very excited because I was going to give her a necklace. The necklace that her mother always wore.
"Yes daddy!" She said after a few minutes of what sounded like alot of falling over and getting tanlged in things.

I came in, and looked at her. Her long raven black hair was straight and let down to flow over her beautiful green floor length dress. Im surprised she never tripped over it. She held up her hand for me to take, but I scooped her up in my arms instead, laughing at her excited and shocked screams. I quickly closed her bedroom door behind us then stared running to the dinning room with Layana still in my arms. Just outside the dinning room I put her down, trying to calm her giggles. Once she was calm enough to enter without making a scene, I took her hand and led her into the room.

In the dinning room, I pulled out her chair, helped her in and pushed it back in, then I bowed much to her entertainment. I went over to my chair and sat down in it. I was Exchanging silent giggles with Layana when we heard the bombs. She imedeatly stopped laughing, her smile morphing into a look of fear. I and several other people rose up from their spots and ran outside to see what was going on, Thor included. There were many people running around frantically screaming, not knowing what to do. My mind imedeatly went to Layana. I looked at Thor and he nodded, "Go"

I reach under my shirt to feel the necklace. In all the excitement of that night I had forgotten to give her the necklace and now I wear underneath my clothes as something to remind me of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner I go back to her room, moving slowly my steps unsure and tired

Dinner was hard, as to be expected. I ate some bread like Thor suggested. It was delicious but I almost chocked on it.

In Layana's room Im reading her favourite book aloud as if she can hear me. I keep reading until I drift off ino another sleep, this time it's wihout dreams