Lost (A Loki's Daughter Fan fiction)

The pain

{ Loki }

I sit up the second I see Layana get hit by the beast, my pain forgotten. I try to go to her, but I find myself unable to move and all I can do is let the tears slide down my face.

"You have to make sacrifices for the people you love." She whispers in a pained voice as her tears soak the blood red ground beneath her.

I shake my head, trying to see some way for this to be fake. A hallucination maybe? But it's no use, this is real.

" No no no no," I sob, my voice shaky and my breaths raspy, "not again."

The world seems to freeze as I am filled wih an enormous amount of sadness. For the second time. I want to give up. To just fade away in the exact way she did. I don't want to live if she is gone.

Then in all my grief, I notice something. The slight movement of her chest rising and falling as she breathes fast and shallow breaths.

When I see it, I have to look again for it to register. It should've killed her. That beast wanted to kill me, the strength it was planning use on me should've killed my nine year old daughter. I can't help but worry that someone is plotting to use her later. Someone needs her alive to do something important and they can't afford to have her die before she does it.

A hand landing on my shoulder, jerks me out of my thoughts and when I look up, it is to see Thor standing above me. His eyes are filled with almost as much sadness as I feel, but there is something else there as well. Guilt.

"Brother, it is not your fault." I say, solemnly, looking back down at Layana, to make sure she keeps breathing.

I don't have to look at him to know he's shaking his head and his reply confirms it.

"No Loki. It is my fault. I never should have brought her. I never should have let her convince me it wouldn't end horribly." Thor admits.

Or at least he tries to admit. Its hard to admit to something you never did in the first place.

"No. We both know that she was just doing something I would've done at her age. Its my fault. She's too full of my mischief. " I state in a tone that should prevent any future arguments.

He nods, though I can tell he doesn't believe me, and helps me up.

"Let's get her home then." Thor says with a half hearted smile.

I go to pick her up but he stops me.

"You are weak. Let me do it." He says, bending over to pick her up.

As much as I hate to admit it, he's right. I'm too weak to even pick up my own daughter. It makes me frustrated. It makes me feel like a failure. What have I even done that isn't worth labeling as a fail? As far as I'm concerned, all I have ever done has ruined things. Every time I try to protect Layana, she ends up more hurt then before. It makes me want to run away and leave her with Thor. She's obviously much happier with him.

Instead of running though, I nod and follow close behind.

We walk across the emtpy terain, looking for a safe place to call Heimdal. I keep asking Thor to check if she's still breathing and he replies with a reasuring 'yes'.

When we finally find a place to call Heimdal, he stops and looks at me to make sure we are ready and calls out into the sky. Then the bifrost whisks us up into the sky and we land next to Heimdal.

We are back home darling.