Lost (A Loki's Daughter Fan fiction)

Why?

{ Layana }

As the healers lead me away from my dad, one emotion over rules the rest, fear. They keep telling it will be fine but I can see it in their eyes too. They are just as afraid as I am.

After all I've been through, I can't help but feel lke I should be brave. I beat up a cactus for crying out loud. I walked through dessert, starving, dehydrated and bleeding to death. But I didn't die, I made it. I got shot in the chest and still  lived. If anything I should be out there comforting people, telling them not to be afraid. That everything is going to okay. So why am I afraid?

As I ponder on this question, the healers take me to a small secluded room.

It's a cozy room, with a bookshelf and a few red cushioned chairs placed around a green rectangular rug in the middle of the room. The lighting is a bit orange and warm, like that of a fire.

I walk over to one of the chairs and sit down, staring blankly at one of the books on the shelf.

The healers leave the room, telling me that they will lock the door and come back with food later. I nod, not really paying attention.

And then I'm alone.

I keep staring at the book, as if staring at it will make something happen, but after who knows how long of staring at the book I decide to go grab it.

Slowly standing up and walking over to the shelf, allowing my index finger to gently graze each book until I find the one I was staring at. Carefully picking up off the shelf, I admire the coverpage.

It is green with golden vines traveling along the edge of it. The tittle is written in brown in big bulky letters. Midgard.

I delicately open it and read the first page, instantly captivated by the words.

I read about how things work on Midgard. The laws, the wars, the history. I keep reading until I finish it.

I put it away, sighing. I forgot how much I love to read.

I scan the bookshelves until I find something else worth reading and then sit back down and read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Welcome back Layana." A familiar voice says.

I look up from my book to see uncle Thor standing infront of me a sorrowful smile plastered on his face. He carries a platter with a meal and some water on it.

"Hello uncle" I say smiling in return and putting my book down.

"I brought you some food" he says, placing the platter on the arm of two chairs.

"Thank you." I say taking a piece of bread.

As I bite into the bread, I let the flavors flow over my tongue and down my throat.

After so long in the desert with barely any food, I forgot what it was like to have all the food I could want.

I notice uncle sitting down in the chair next to mine.

"You're staying with me?" I ask, hoping he will.

He looks at me for a moment before responding, "you looked like you were lonely. "

"I was." I admit, nodding.

I take another bite of my bread and watch him. He looks distracted, like my dad was.

"Is something wrong?" I ask, making sure to watch him carefully.

He looks startled when I say that, as if he forgot where he was. He shakes it off though and looks at me.

"No," he says his tone comforting, "everything is alright Layana."

Lies. Why does everyone keep lying to me?

"Ok" I say.

I eat the rest of my bread in silence.

"Uncle thor," I begin to ask the question itching inside of me, "what's Midgard like? You know... the parts that aren't the desert."

He looks slightly startled at my sudden intrest in the place that nearly killed me, but his eye light up all the same.

"It is a wonderful place when you know the right people" he begins, his eyes giving a sparkle as he most thinks of his beloved Jane.

Thor tells me about the beautiful land he saw and the adventures he went on with his Midgardian friends as I eat the rest of my food.

Then, suddenly I remember why we are in this room instead of in the main dinning room.

"Is it over? " I ask.

All the passion in his eyes fades away leaving sorrow.

"Layana, I have to tell you something." he begins, the tone in his voice completely different from the one of our previous conversations.

He takes the platter that sits in the middle of our two chairs and places it on the floor. He shuffles closer to me in his chair reaching out his hands for me to take. I place my hands in his, the size difference, intriguing me.

"Layana, your father, before he had you was a bad man," He says, choosing his words carefully, "he tried to destroy the frost giants with the bifrost."

He pauses.

"Why don't you come sit on my lap" he says after a moment of silence.

I obey and comfortably sit on his lap, still holding his hands.

" Well the frost giants want revenge now and they attacked us," he tells me, not breaking eye contact, " and your father declared war on them, in rage. Now he figured that the only way to fix the things he's done was to admit to trying to wipe out their race and go with them to Jotunheim for what ever punishment they have in store for him."

My heart seems to skip a thousand beats on these words. I want to yell. I want to scream. I want nothing more than to go rescue him from that wretched place. Instead I sit on my uncle's lap, nodding along as he tell me about how my father is going to die. Tears form in my eyes and I can't help but cry.

He notices and holds me closer, in a tight hug.

" I promise Layana, we will get him back."

I nod, the tears clouding my vision, as one question repeats itself in my head over and over.

Why did he go with them?