Fixing What Fell Apart

Revelations

"Ain't no smilin' faces here, we slammin' doors and dishes
Sayin' we don't miss each other, but it's all fictitious
Sayin' that we had enough, but enough of what?
Another slap to the face, another uppercut
I'm just abusive by nature, not cause I hate ya
Not cause I wanna get someone to imitate ya
I know it's hard, I know I intimidate ya
But is you stayin' or goin'?
I couldn't breathe and you ain't even know it." Nicki Minaj~ The crying game
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Journey

I didn't know what was happening. It was dark and I couldn't hear or see anything.

After what felt like hours of darkness I seen a bright light and I looked down at myself seeing I wore the same thing I left the house in yet my body had holes in them. They didn't hurt they were just there. I touched one that was implanted in my chest yet was paralyzed to my own touch.

"Mommy!" I heard a small voice say. I quickly turned around because it sounded just like Jaylen.

I turned around and frowned when I saw the boy. He had Jaylen's hair yet unlike Jaylen he had my skin tone. I shed a tear because I knew who it was. I looked down at myself not wanting him to see me this way yet my holes were gone.

"Jayden baby come here."I whispered as he walked slowly towards me. He looked different from the last time I saw him of course. His hair had grown and his skin had gotten darker. He looked way older and even though he passed about 9 months ago he looked about 4.

When he got to me he reached out his arms and I gladly picked him up. He was gorgeous. He looked alittle like me yet had more of Javon's features. I shed a tear knowing that I was probably in Heaven. It didn't feel like heaven though.

"Why you cry mommy?" Jayden frowned taking my face into his small hands. I shook my head and sniffed.

"Because I missed you baby." He smiled giggling as I ticketed him.

"You going back to daddy soon." I frowned again.

"He's sad because he misses you and he likes you." He said playing with my necklaces and I chuckled.

"And you have to go back because my brudda." I nodded smiling at him referring to Jaylen as his brother.

"Sleep a little while longer mommy but you have to go back." I nodded again and hugged him tightly.

"Mommy loves you so much baby if I could take you with me I would." I cried into his curly hair. He pulled away and I put him down.

"I like it here." He smiled looking towards the light.

"Jayden?!" A voice yelled and I squinted to see what looked like Erica but the light was so bright that I couldn't tell.

"I have to go now but I love you and my brudda and my daddy too."

"We love you too." I said wiping my tears and hugging him once more before pulling away.

"Auntie Erica loves you too." He smiled before running towards the light right before it went away and darkness once again took over.
*****
Javon

I sat in the waiting room with my head in my hands banging a fist against my head every now and then. I silently cried as silence took over our group. Journey could never get a break and she was too good of a person to have all this shit happening to her. I had a feeling this was my fault. She was in my car those bullets weren't for her. I found it funny that her nigga wasn't here but now wasn't the time. I just wanted her to be okay and after her machines went crazy about and hour ago I wasn't sure she would be.