Fixing What Fell Apart

Insecure

"If there's a question of my heart, you've got it
It don't belong to anyone but you
If there's a question of my love, you've got it
Baby, don't worry, I've got plans for you, yeah
Baby, I've been making plans oh love
Baby, I've been making plans for you, yeah
Baby, I've been making plans
Baby, I've been making plans for you" Wale ft. Usher ~Matrimony
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Journey

I woke up feeling bad as hell. I hadn't talked to Javon in like 2 days he's pick Jaylen up from my mom's so at least he could see him. He had been calling me nonstop but that shit he pulled wasn't cool especially since he basically said she was better than me before.

I swung the covers off of me and dragged my feet to the bathroom . Halfway there I began to run feeling myself having to throw up. I let out my whole stomach before getting up. I cleaned up my mess before brushing my teeth and splashing cool water on my face.

I took a deep breath before walking back into my bedroom.

I looked into my mirror and realized I had gotten a little thicker. After putting two and two together my eyes widened.

"Oh fuck." I said to myself.

I went to my phone calling Javon. It rung twice before he answered.

"What the fucks up with you I been calling your ass like crazy why you wasn't answering me and what's this Jaylen tells me about hugging and talking to some nigga name moddie?"

"First of all don't answer the phone being all fucking disrespectful let's not forget that little stunt you pulled at Walmart the other day with little ms Stacy be lucky I didn't slap your dumbass right then and there second I've been ignoring you because you don't understand that you got something good you forgot my name when you saw the girl that you were once head over heels for so how do you think I feel what if some nigga woulda came up to me and I woulda did that shit and third it was Amod and it wasn't anything like that I saw him at my moms house and we had a little talk and that's fucking it unlike your friendly ass."

"Why the fuck you talking to Amod?" I sighed in frustration.

"That's all you have to say?" He stayed quiet.

I just hung up. I already wasn't feeling well and he was pissing me off. I slipped on a sweater and my Gucci flip flops *;)* and grabbed my keys making my way out the house and to Walgreens.

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Anonymous

I watched as she came out of the house and slowly made her way to her car. She was so beautiful. The way she walked the way she talked the way she smiled. She was mine and I was gonna have her. I had been watching her for a few days and I noticed that fuck nigga Javon hadn't been around so I'm assuming he's out the picture. He took what's mine so he was gonna get handled. She pulled off but not before looking directly at my car I knew she couldn't see anything due to my tented windows. Just wait until she really sees me which will be soon. She's gonna wish like hell she wouldn't have ever been involved with Javon because if I couldn't have her no one could.
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Javon

She did not just fucking hang up on me. I called back but no reply. I'm really fucking up. I get why she's mad because I did forget her name but Stacy just caught me by surprise I hadn't seen her in so long. I know I really liked Stacy in the past and I liked her as a girlfriend more than I liked Journey but that was in the past. I love Journey and I always did. I remember one time a while ago I said some real fucked up shit about Journey being compared to Stacy but she couldn't have known about that and I was young and dumb but when Journey got taken away I realized my love for her that had been there all along a love I didn't have for Stacy.

I picked up my phone and called Journey but there was no answer I sighed. After about 30 minutes and got up putting on some bball shorts and slides I went into the spare room I had for Jaylen and grabbed his sleeping body out the bed. I grabbed his overnight bag and swung it over my shoulder. I made my way outside and buckled him in his booster seat and he rested his head on the door. That boy can sleep. I got into the drivers seat and pulled off.

After a while I made my way to Journey's house just as a dark tented Honda was pulling off from across the street. I parked in the driveway and got out. I grabbed Jaylen and his bag and jogged to the door. I pulled out my spare key that Journey had given me and made my way inside. Her car was outside yet her house was quiet. I went to Jaylen's room and placed him in the bed kissin his forehead before exiting the room. I peeked in Journeys room but she wasn't in there. I heard slight sniffles coming from in the bathroom making me frown. Why the fuck was she crying? I walked to the door putting my ear up to it. The sniffles grew into soft sobs. I opened the door causing her to jump.

"What the fuck Javon?!" She yelled but she didn't get off the bathroom floor. I looked around the bathroom until my eyes landed on a white and pink stick.

"What's this?" I said picking it up. I looked at it and it had a positive sign on it.

"You pregnant?" I said beginning to smile. She didn't return the smile. I put the stick on the counter and pulled her up a little so that I could get behind her. I could tell she didn't want me to touch her but she didn't have a choice. I placed her in between my legs on the floor as she stared at the door ahead of us.

"Why you crying ma." I asked rubbing my hand up and down her thigh I heard her breathing calm down.

"I'm pregnant by a man that I've learned doesn't give two fucks about me. He sees a woman that's gorgeous that he used to like so much and she got you stuttering and in a daze while your right infront of me. Man you may not understand but that's a low blow I know that you may think I'm overreacting but in my eyes I can't compare to her and with our history you make me so fucking insecure . As a man your supposed to boost my confidence and make me feel good about myself but you don't and the shit that you do makes me feel like those other girls have something that I don't and it hurts. We can't have a real relationship like this."

I ran my hands down my face because I didn't know she felt that way. She didn't understand how much she meant to me my love ran so deep for this woman.

"Why would you think you don't compare to her. I never said you didn't."

"Yes you did Javon." She whined turning around a bit.

"Back in the day you said I was cute but I was no Stacy." She said mocking my voice.

I didn't know she knew about that which made me feel way worse the I already did. I turned her in my arm as so that we were completely face to face. I could see that she had tears streaming down her face.

"Journey baby dont cry please don't cry. Your so beautiful to me and everyone else even when your crying your beautiful the way you smile is beautiful the way you frown is beautiful look at Jaylen something that came from you with a little help from me. He's precious so you can't be anything less than gorgeous. I was dumb back then I though that some chest and some ass makes a person beautiful but I didn't realize that the most prettiest girl in the world was right next door. Glasses and all." I said making her chuckle.

"I don't want you to feel that I see you as anything less than what you are. And now we've made something even more beautiful and we've been blessed. Now stop crying and gimme a kiss." I said puckering my lips she laughed before holding my face and pecking my lips several times.

"I love you beautiful."

"I love you handsome." I stood up pulling her up with me and taking a deep breath.

"Your pregnant." I smiled

"I know I'm scared."

"Don't be your a great mother and I'm a great father and we're gonna get married and have like 6 more."

"6 more? Tuh" she said walking out of the bathroom.

"Hell yeah girl 6 more."

"The devil is a lie." She yelled.

"You having four more girl" She laughed.

This girl play too much but I love her playful ass.