Fixing What Fell Apart

Epilogue

"Told myself I wouldn't cry when you're gone.
But I know it's easier said than done.
Look at me, look at me choked up now.
Tryna tell you but it won't come out.
What is love? If you're not here with me?" V.Bozeman~What is love

***
I dreaded today. The day I'd have to bury the only man that I'd truly loved besides my son. The only man that brought me happiness and the only man that had ever loved me and never left me. It's been a couple of days since I'd last held him or kissed him and today would be the last day I'd see him at all. Jaylen was the only living thing that kept me from going with him.

"You alright sweetheart?" My nana asked as we walked into the church and I nodded without saying anything.

"It'll get better sweetie. You're witness to the fact that it always does."

"I know nana."

"He left you with something beautiful." She looked at Jaylen who had been quiet since the night his father died and she smiled.

"Love Javon through him. Okay?" I nodded and we found our seats in the first aisle.

After everyone was seated the funeral began.

"'I am the resurrection and the life,' says the Lord. 'Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die." The minister said as he stood at the alter. Pictures of him as a child covered a board that stood by his casket.

The casket was opened wide and the whole time I kept my eyes on my baby that had been taken away. He didn't even looked the same but he looked handsome and at peace in his Burberry suit. Music was played and sad words were shared but me, I was focused on Javon.

"Now, we may all welcome friend of the deceased, Journey, as she shares her tribute." I looked at Jaylen who was asleep in my lap and decided that I'd just carry him up with me to the podium.

"Goodmorning everyone." I said meeting eyes with Aaliyah, Blake, Cole, and Marcus. I looked down at Jaylen readjusting him on my hip as everyone mumbled hellos.

"I would like to thank everyone for coming to celebrate the life of a beautiful soul. I tried not to cry today knowing he'd sell me out if he saw me crying. He always hated when I cried." I smiled a bit biting the inside of my cheek thinking about what I should say next.

"Today still feels so surreal. Having to see him so still and quiet is the only thing that's reminding me that what happened was real cause cause everybody knew he loved to talk. He was such a wonderful friend, father, brother and just a great man in general. He was the only person that I could call and he'd be there." I sniffled a bit letting a tear run down my cheek.

"Let it out." Someone said from the crowd.

" I remember I used to sneak out and into his house at night when I was afraid. We'd never touch and sometimes we wouldn't even talk but being in the same room as him just made everything better. He made everything better and he left me a week ago and I still have no clue how I'm gonna do this alone. When I saw him for the first time in years four years ago I just knew he'd never leave me again and he's been taken away. He was my best friend and my sanity and Lord knows how much I loved that man. He was there through my rise and fall and for him not to be there for my future rise and fall is hard. And all I have left is memories and my baby. I'll always love you Jay and the Nene you knew will never change and I pray you live through Jaylen." I cried as Cole stood up and brought me off the stage.

How would I do this alone?
***

This is the end of Fixing What fell apart. Hopefully everyone will want to read the third book because there will be a third book posted sometime this week. Thank you for continuing to read my story for this long and all comments and votes are greatly appreciated. Love You Babies!