Fixing What Fell Apart

Goodbye

"I'm not tryna pressure you
Just can't stop thinking bout you
You ain't even really gotta be my boyfriend
I just wanna know your name
And maybe sometime
We can hookup we can hang out we can just chill." Wale~ the need to know
*****
It's been a week since Erica's death and today was her funeral. Her family flew down from Cali so we decided Tony would come down here earlier. I had on a black dress black heels and a hat with a small lace vale. I took a deep breath as I held Jaylen's hand and looked toward the Church. Family and friends of Erica's stood outside hugging one another before the ceremony began. I felt a gentle hand around my waist and I looked up to see Kendrick and Kenya. I smiled slightly and looked back toward the church.

Me and Kendrick had been talking lately and I like him but I'm focused on my current issue right now. I saw the limo pull up with the casket and I knew the ceremony was about to begin. I hesitated to go in because I was about to say bye to my Bestfriend.

"I gotchu, come on mama." Kendrick said and his soothing voice brought me comfort.

We walked into the church and sat in the second row because the first row was occupied by her family members. I never liked her family because after she had Tony the all left her high an dry. Especially her parents.

I looked over to the next row and seen javon. He looked down at me and I followed his eyes which led me to Kendrick and I's intertwined hands. I gulped and faced the front as the ceremony began.

About 30 minutes in it was time for us to share our speeches. I had a papaer with my words written but decided to speak from my heart. I trudged to the podium and sighed.

"Goodmorning."

"Goodmorning." They responded in sync.

"Umm I prepared a speech but I don't think this is an occasion to read off paper." I looked at Kendrick and he nodded. I could see Javon looking at Kendrick but I didn't care right now.

"Erica was not only my friend but she was my sister. We've been through our ups and downs but I wouldn't change anything that we've gone through. Erica was the kind of person where you could tell anything to and she wouldn't judge for the simple fact that she struggled so much." I seen her mom roll her eyes and I sure was about to make her mad.

"For a person without the love of a mother or father she was a great parent to Jeremiah and Tony." My eyes landed on Jeremiah he had his head on Javon's shoulder and Tony who was holding her sister's hand.

"There was so many times where I wanted to give up and she was there. People would never understand the person Erica was unless they knew her like I did. She was funny smart sentimental and caring. We've hurt eachother but I love her and I always will. Today we say see you later to my friend Erica Hayes. I love you baby ." I was done and everyone began to applaud. Her mom just looked away as I passed her aisle and sat down.

"You did good." Kendrick whispered. He was holding a sleeping Makayla and Jaylen was by Javon.

After the ceremony we were all outside the church waiting for Tony to say goodbye to his family.

Jeremiah didn't really know what was going on but Tony was 8 so he was somewhat aware of what was going on. He wasn't shy or anything but it was the fact that his mom was no longer here that made him quiet.

Once we were in the car it was just me Jaylen and Tony.

"Are you sad that you had to leave LA?" I asked looking through the rear view mirror. He shook his head.

"Are you excited to be down here?" He shook his head.

After a while I just gave up letting the silence take over the car.

"My mommy isn't coming back is she?" He said shocking the hell out of me.

"S-she's not coming back here but your gonna see her again. When you go to church with your auntie Monica who do you go there for?"

"God"

"Yes your mommy is with him. When it's time for you to go to him then your gonna see her again. Until then you can see her in your dreams okay?" He nodded and continued to look out the window.
*****

We were finally home and I was now showing Tony his new room. Before I left Cali I remembered that cars. I got him a huge race car bed race cars painted on the wall and a finish line painted on the back of his door. I got his name in red wooden letters on his walls which were painted blue. His carpet was white and he had a large tv hanging in his wall. I wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible.

"You like it T?" He nodded and smiled looking around the room.

"Thank you auntie." I smiled.

"I'm happy you like it. I'm gonna take care of you baby okay?" He nodded.
*****

Javon

I stood in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. So much shit was going through my head at this point that it hurt. I had just gotten out the shower so I walked out the bathroom in my boxers.

I began thinking about Jo and that nigga at the funeral. Seeing him comfort her like that had pissed me off. I wanted her but I couldn't have her and that hit a nerve, I wanted somebody since she had moved on obviously. I hopped on the bed and took my phone off the nightstand. A thought had occurred in my head causing me to get off the bed and go through my pants in my closet. I pulled out something that I knew would make me feel better about my situation.

I dialed the number and it rung twice before it was answered.

"Hello?" Her sexy voice said through the phone.

"Wassup Nalani, it's Javon... From the jewelry store."

"Oh wassup...? You finally called." She said and I could tell she was smiling causing me to smirk.

"Yea I was thinking about you so you know I had to what you thought I wasn't gonna?"

"I don't know I figured after your kid's mom got that expensive ass shit from you she'd go begging for you back." I chuckled.

"Nah it's not even like that and I wouldn't have called if it was. But I wanted to know if you wanted to link up somewhere one of these days"

"Alright that'll be cool just text me and let me know when and where and I'm there."

"Alright I gotchu but I'll hit you up later."

"Alrighty." I tossed my phone on the other side of my bed and Layed down with one hand behind my head.

Journey can move on and so could I.