To Believe In The Impossible

Chapter One

Jessica's POV:

I woke up in a hospital bed, the pain I was feeling was intense. All I remember was practicing gymnastics and then well everything went black. And now the only things I hear are the sound of my heart monitor and the slow dripping of the IV into my arm. The air in the room felt stale, the silence was so "loud" I felt like I could hear my own heart beat. I heard I light knock on the door to my room, the doctor walked in, kind of solemn looking. I got worried, I immediately asked him 

"Hi doctor, is there something wrong?"

" With you? No, your vitals seems stable. But I thought that you should be aware of this now."
"Be aware of what?"
"It's about your parents."
"What about them are they okay?"
"No, not exactly. They were in a car accident a couple of days ago, and your father flew through the windshield and broke his leg. Your mother is in a coma and isn't waking up. They are both located at Helena Hospital."

I felt the tears swelling up in my eyes, I didn't want to cry considering how my father treated me a few weeks ago, or my whole life. I had stormed out and stayed at Ashley's house and didn't talk to my parents for a month. Of course no matter how angry I was I did cry, and I cried. I started wailing so hard that my heart monitor started to jerk and the doctor panicked and immediately tried to calm me down. After about an hour I stopped crying and my heart rate went back to normal. I started to feel tired and before I knew it I fell asleep.

I woke up later at 7:30, i buzzed for the nurse and she brought me dinner. A while later, Ashley came to visit.
"Hey how are you feeling?"
"Awful. My everything hurts and honestly I just want to go home. Even though home is just as bad as being here."
"When did they tell you that they will release you?"
"They haven't, I don't know if I am stable enough to be on my own. I've made progress but not enough for them to let me go. It's like, I can feel great one day and then be right back at square one the next."
"I'm sorry, I wish that there was more that I could do for you."
"You're doing all that you can. I mean my parents can't be here, and frankly the only person I would even want here is my mother but that's not going to happen."
"She hasn't come to visit you yet?"
"Both of my parents were in a car accident last week, my mother is in a coma and my father has broken bones."
"Oh my god Jess why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"
"Because I don't want to think about it, and telling you would mean thinking about and talking about it."
"You can't keep these things bottled up inside like that, it's not good for you."
"When have I ever done things that are good for me?"
"Never, and that's why I'm advising you to try and stop. You aren't just in the hospital because you fell off of the high beam during practice. You're here because you are taxing your body to the max and it can't handle it. You need to start taking care of yourself Jess."
"I can't take care of myself, I don't know how to with all of my problems. I have to many and I cant even deal with one of them on my own."
"Then maybe we need to do what we should have done a long time ago."
"You are not sending me to a facility Ashley."
"I know, why don't you try going to a therapist? Maybe talking to a professional will help you cope."
"I don't want anyone to know my problems."
"Well then you wont get better. If you are okay being stuck in this hell hole fine, I wont push you to try and fix it. Just know that I am not in support of you pretending that you're okay when you're not. I'll drop it, but I wish for once you would take me advice, I am your best friend and I cant keep sitting idly while you slowly deteriorate inside."

I know Ashley was right, I should try and talk to someone. But I was scared, what if they judge me and make me feel worse than I already do. What if going to therapy just trudges up all the things I've worked so hard to forget. I don't want that to happen, I'm not ready to take off my blind fold and see what's actually happening.

"Can we stop talking about this now, I'm tired and my body is telling me to go back to sleep."
"Fine, I gotta go. I'll see you later."
"Are you going to be mad at me now?"
"I don't know, are you going to consider getting help?"
"I... maybe."
"Then maybe I wont be mad at you.. for long."

Ashley left and I lied there staring at the ceiling, why is this happening at all. Can't I just be a normal 17 year old girl, with a father that loves me and a mother than is capable of seeing that my father is a monster who hates me and I am drowning and i need her.