To Believe In The Impossible

Chapter Six

Jessica's POV:

The next morning came, last night I hadn't noticed that I had fallen asleep and that Ashley had slept over and fell asleep next to me. What I did realize was that now it was morning and my father would probably be home by now. Oh how I dreaded this. I sat up in my bed and looked at the time, it was 8:00 I thought about getting up but I was still tired, I lied back down and before I knew it I feel back asleep. When I had woken up the second time it was 10:00 Ashley was on my laptop, I sat up and looked around as though I was trying to find my surroundings. 

" You okay?" I heard Ashley speak but I didn't reply.

"Jess are you okay?"
This time I was looking at her I saw her lips move but couldn't make out what she was saying. I felt like I heard a ringing in my head it was slowly getting louder, I kept feeling like my heartbeat was getting faster. I looked around, and the room looked like it was spinning and I started to get dizzy. I tried to get up out of bed, but instead I fell flat on my face on the ground. Ashley jumped up and hurried to my side I heard her yelling
"Jess! Jess! Are you okay! Jess please answer me say something, do something?!"
I didn't reply I felt so much pain the same amount of pain I felt in the hospital but this time it was a deathly sharp pain. I felt it overwhelming my body and my mind, my head hurts my eyes felt heavy. I felt Ashley shake me, I heard my mom come in, she also knelt by my side and was trying to wake me up, but all I could do was lie there in agony. My eyes got heavier until then again everything went black.

I woke up in the hospital for the second time this month, in more pain that you could possibly imagine. My mom and Ashley were there and some nurses hooking me up to a bunch of machinery to monitor my heart and an IV and a monitor for my brain waves. According to the doctors I had gotten a concussion when I fell from my bed which then impacted when I hit the floor. I was at the same time having a panic attack which caused me to hear the ringing in my ear and not be able to hear Ashley when she was talking to me.
"Mom my head hurts."
"I know. I'll go get you some pain killers."
"You scared me Jess. I was crying so much I almost couldn't breathe."
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to."
" It's not like it was your fault you couldn't fight it."

"Yeah, I guess. I just feel like the only reason I wasn't able to control how I felt was because I was afraid of having my father come home just to feel like he hated me and wanted me gone. I didn't want to feel like he couldn't stand the fact that I was his daughter, I was afraid he would do something to me to make me go away so that he might be happy again."
"Jess I really think that you should tell you're mom about how you are feeling with your father being home and all. This is just to serious, you had a panic attack and your you're blood pressure was dropping causing you to pass out and you are having these horrible thoughts about what your father thinks of you and what he might do to you. I mean obviously I'm not there when he does this but it's tearing you apart you are getting even more sick just thinking about it."
" I can't tell her she wouldn't believe me she would probably think I'm making it up just to have a vendetta against my father."
" But why would she think that?"
"Because there have been countless times that I have informed her of an incident that happened between my father and I and now she would think I'm being over dramatic and a drama queen especially since he just got out of the hospital."
"But has she noticed that he didn't come to make sure you were okay. In the hospital for the second time?"
"No. She most likely excused him because of his surgery."
"She was in a coma for four weeks?! He had to just get some valves closed up and his bone broke like most people. It's not like he had an organ transplanted and he needed bed rest and fluids and not to move for an extended period of time . If he can get around the house and do stuff for your mom, he most certainly can be a father for you and be here at the hospital with you. Even if he fakes it."
Ashley made a lot of sense but I knew there was no way he would pull through and be a father to me. I knew that if I did open up to my mom she wouldn't believe me, no matter what I said or did.
"I know that your right but I... Just can't think about that right now. I just need to go to sleep I have a headache."
"Okay. Well I have to go, my mom wants me home and Luke wants to see me later. We will stop by and see you again tonight."
"Okay. Thanks again Ashley for everything you are the best non-blood sister a girl could ever have."
"Of course, you're welcome."
Ashley grabbed her purse and phone and left the room. I lied down and began to think of all the things that she said and again that feeling came over me, that feeling that I didn't really express out loud. The feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness and of course now with all of these things flying through my head they were even stronger.