Barred (nh au)

VII. Awkwardness

NIALL'S POV:

I was almost about to kiss Haley. What the actual fuck was that? We had just become friends and there was no way in hell that is want to ruin it by kissing her. And why did I almost go and kiss her in the first place?

I went back inside my house, my heart racing from the kiss we almost shared. I knew, I just fucking knew something bad would result from this. My first guess is that she'll distance herself from me and that's the last thing I want. Only now had she begun opening up to me ever so slightly, and it literally shattered all my hopes in getting close to her by the kiss we almost shared.

I ran a hand through my hair, pacing back and forth in my room. I honestly don't know why this is affecting me so much, or why I almost kissed her. Maybe it was because we were sitting so close and she looked so beautiful looking at me as we talked, and I couldn't stop myself?

Whatever the case might be, I don't want whatever we had, to end. It was with so much difficulty that I had crossed the first barrier to getting closer to her and now I'm pretty sure I've been thrown out of it, having to face two new standing barriers to cross.

I went up to my room, staring out from the window. I saw Haley come up to hers, but as soon as she saw me, she turned away and closed the curtains. And in that moment I knew it was bad, really bad.

That night I couldn't sleep. And when sleep came to me, it was already dawn. I simply laid there in bed, staring up at the ceiling, worst case scenarios flooding my brain. Maybe I'm just overthinking all of this? Maybe tomorrow nothing would happen and we could still be the way we were? I was hoping that was the case, but I knew it wouldn't happen, not after that little window incident a few hours ago.

The next morning, I stood there outside Haley's house, waiting for her to come out so that we could go to college together like we usually do. A few minutes later, she came out, and I could tell her guard was up. And I absolutely hated it.

"Hey, Haley! Ready to go?" I smiled at her, attempting to start a conversation.

"Yeah...but, um, Niall, I...uh, I have to take a-a detour! Yes, a slight detour. You-you go ahead, I'll see you at college." She said, uneasiness clear in her voice, and I could practically hear my heart shatter and break into a million pieces.

The thing I feared had happened. The walls were up, higher than ever. Why the fuck did I almost kiss her yesterday?!

"Oh, um, okay. I'll...I'll see you there, then. Are you sure you don't want me to tag along?" I asked her, daring to hope that she asks me to come with her.

"No! No, I'm pretty sure about that." She said really quickly, flashing me a smile I knew was forced. And I couldn't hide the immense disappointment that flooded in my features. For a second I saw guilt flash in her eyes, but she quickly covered it by looking down, waving and speed walking in the other direction.

I just stood there outside her house for a moment, shoulders slumped, heart shattered as I stared at the ground. We were back to square one.

I sighed as I willed my feet to move. I couldn't deny the fact that Haley had become an important part in my life, even though we met only about a month and a half ago.

I passed by Alyssa's house, hoping to see her and I was relieved to see her there, standing at her porch, waiting for me and Haley. Confusion flashed in her features when she saw me walk towards her alone, looking at me, silently asking why Haley wasn't with me.

"She, uh, she took a detour." I told her when I neared her.

"A detour?" She asked me, her lips curving into a frown as she waited for me to elaborate.