Barred (nh au)

XXXIX. Home (Part 1)

HALEY'S POV:

I landed in Manchester at about 2 in the morning. To say I was nervous was an understatement. It had been six months since I had set foot in this city. Six months since I breathed in the cool Manchester air. Six months since I saw all of my friends. Six months since I ran away. Six months since I saw him.

I always asked Alyssa to keep me updated about him. She doesn't know what he thinks about the letter. He never talked about it, apparently. She told me his carefree smile was slowly returning. I couldn't be happier.

Knowing that I was the reason he was so broken shattered me. I didn't want to break his heart. I didn't want to leave. It broke my heart too. But I had to do it. It was something I needed. I needed to get out of my misery. I needed to collect my thoughts and sort things out. I needed this. I had no choice. Just this once, I had to put myself first. And so I did. There's not a single day I don't regret breaking his heart.

I don't know why I never said those three words back to him that day. There were at the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't say it. I couldn't bring myself to. I wasn't ready for it. With so many thoughts occupying my brain, with me being on the brink of falling into that pit yet again, I knew I wouldn't be able to make anyone happy. It was only logical I had a change of scenery. And now that I was back, I was determined to make everything right.

I walked out of the Arrival terminal, taking in a deep, determined breath. Alyssa knew I was coming back tonight. Alyssa, Harry and Louis were the only ones I'd informed this to. Harry had graciously offered to pick me up tonight but I had declined the offer. I didn't want him, Louis or Alyssa to be up at 2 in the morning for me. I texted my parents, letting them know I was back home and they both responded immediately, wishing me luck.

I hailed a cab, looking out of the window, watching the driver take the turn to a neighbourhood I was so familiar with. He stopped near my house like I asked him too. I didn't want him to know I was here. Yet.

I paid the driver, got my luggage out and quietly walked up to the house that I hadn't seen in six months. It felt so good to finally be back. I turned to look at the house next to mine and it was like my heart suddenly stopped.

It was exactly how it was six months ago, nothing had changed. I could see the lights were on, which meant that he was awake. My heart rate sped up. I was beyond nervous now. I knew I had to go in there right now. I couldn't prolong that task any longer. I had to fix things. And I had to fix them now.

I walked into my house first, dumping my luggage at the entrance, I quietly closed the door and walked back out. I stood there at my porch for a little while, trying to find my courage. I was so nervous. I didn't know whether he would still want to do anything with me. God, I hope he would forgive me. It's too much to ask, but I hoped he would.

I finally mustered up enough courage to walk up to his front door. I raised my hand to ring the doorbell, but I stopped short. I brought my hand back down. Running my hand through my hair, I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heart rate which had gone straight into overdrive.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Oh fuck it Haley, just ring the goddamned doorbell.

I acted on impulse and before I knew it, I had rung the doorbell. Now there was no stopping my heart from beating at the speed of light. I was scared I would go into a cardiac arrest from how fast it was beating.