Midnight. ☆ [boyxboy]

Mistakes.

I shot up in bed, my forehead slicked with sweat. My breath seemed limited when I tried to gasp for air. My heartbeat was pounding loudly in my ears and I tried to get my bearings, after the creepy nightmare I seemed to be stuck in. A wave of nausea shot through me, my throat and mouth were extremely dry and a sour taste coated my tongue. I groaned in annoyance and tried to steady my breathing. Thats when last night came rushing back, the alcohol and.. Chris. I looked over beside me expecting to see him laying there, sleep or awake. But in his place was a white note card with his familiar scribble-like penmanship. I picked it up and read;

I had to get home, so I let myself out. I also took a pop tart on the way out, didn't wake your parents so don't worry.

Chris.

I dropped the card and flopped forwards onto my bed, turning my head to the right so my cheek was pressed against my comforter, my bum pushed up into the air. I closed my eyes and sighed loudly. The memories of last night flooded back into my brain, Chris coming through the window, us getting drunk, me sloppy drunk, Chris giving me oral..

"What the hell is wrong with you" I groaned as I slapped my hand to my forehead and then my door swung open.

"What the hell is wrong with who, Zane?" My mothers voice retorted and she continued on "..Trying out some new yoga moves?" she said in confusion to the odd position I was in.

"Mom.. What is it?" I snapped, annoyed that she hadn't knocked first, but more embarrassed that she had caught me in this position. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I stared straight ahead at my computer desk, I could see my mothers face twist in worry out of my peripheral vision.

"Good lord, Zane.." she said in a worried tone as she rushed over to me. I downcast my eyes to her black sequined flats, but she grabbed my face in her hands and tugged it upwards, but I tried hardest not to make eye contact, in fear that she'd know I had been drinking. I mentally kicked myself in the balls for not having brushed my teeth or taken a shower, alcohol stinks up your mouth and clings to your clothes and with her being in such close proximity I was fearful that she'd smell it on me. I probably reeked of it. "Your eyes are swollen and those dark bags under your eyes..What were you doing last night? Can you not sleep? I bet its because of what's happened at the canal.." her words trailed off as she looked at me with the saddest expression I've ever seen.

"Mom i--" I began but she cut me off with that worried tone of hers.

"Honey.. if you want I can get you a counsler.."

"Mom, will you let me talk for two seconds? I'm fine. I just had a late night.. School is just a bit stressful" I lied.

My mom seemed to be buying it so I continued on "I've got some upcoming big tests that are atleast 75 percent of my grade and I'm just a little worried"

She sighed and nodded sympathetically "Well.. if you need any help with any of your school work, let me know, okay? I have no problem helping with those types of things" she said reassuringly.

I nodded at her and looked her in the eyes for the first time "Thanks Mom.. I appreciate it"

"Of course, sweetheart." she nodded, finally releasing my face as she continued on, a smile forming on her face "Well, I was actually coming to tell you to get ready. I got a call from Java Jam and they want you to come in!" she said in excitement.

I had been filling out job applications for the past two weeks, applying at burger joints, animal rescue centers, coffee places and convent stores. Out of all the jobs I had applied for, only java jam had called back. I was happy about this because I had hoped I'd get a call back from either the fast food place or the coffee shop.

"Alright well, I'll start to get ready" I said and pushed myself up from the bed. I expected my mother to leave my room, but she lingered behind "What's wrong..?" I asked, turning my back to her to tug out my drawer, diligently searching for a clean pair of underwear.

"Well.. I uh.. You know you should dress professionally for a face to face interview.. and I was just wondering if you needed me to put you together a quick outfit" she rushed out the last part.

I whipped my head around to glare at her, my jaw dropping "Mom! I can dress myself!" I exclaimed in shock that she would even suggest dressing her TEENAGE son, as if I was still four years old.

She threw her hands up in surrender and headed towards the door, shaking her head "Alright, Zane.. It was just a suggestion, sheesh. When you're done, I've got some BLT's downstairs waiting for you" and she disappeared downstairs.

I frowned, regretting the harsh tone I had used with her before. She had made my favorite meal for gods sake. She was a good mother to me, always was. Always thinking of me first.

I sighed in exasperation as my thoughts resumed of last night. I groaned and held my head in my hands. I needed to do some serious reevaluation of myself, getting drunk and then letting my best friend give me head?! How sloppy of me. Why didn't I stop him? Why had I let this happen..? I continued to mentally beat myself up over this as I made my way into the shower.

What I did last night was something that I had majorly regretted. I made a stupid mistake, that I had to try and fix soon. But how could I fix something that had already been done?