Thinking out loud

Get your mind off of things

Ashley woke up in Julian's arms , at first she was confused about how she got there but then yesterday's events played out in her mind. Rolling over in bed Ashley glanced at Julian and was glad to see that he was still sleeping, she knew that as soon as he woke up that he would want to  talk about what happened yesterday. She was tired of lying to him , tired of taking risks that she knew would break his heart but she also knew that if Julian found out about what was going on between herself and Rob that not only would their relationship most likely be over but also that Rob and Julian wouldn't be able to play together anymore. She knew that her and Rob's secret wasn't  just about them anymore , it was also about keeping the team together.

Ashley got out of bed and looked down at what she had on , realising that it was what she had on when she went to go see Rob , she decided on taking a shower and putting on fresh clothes. Her mind drifted off to what happened last night as she was getting ready , things had gotten so heated between her and Rob , she silently thanked God that Dan had walked into the room before things had gone too far but as she took off her shirt and her broken bra fell to the floor she knew that things had already gone farther than what they should have.

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After making breakfast Ashley had taken it up to Julian who was still in bed. Now she was back downstairs cleaning dishes , she had been surprised during breakfast when Julian didn't bring up what happened last night. All throughout breakfast it had been quiet , she could only wonder what was on his mind.

Ashley didn't even realise she had finished washing the dishes until she had put up the last cup. She could still hear Julian upstairs getting a shower , laying down on their couch she decided to take a nap.

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Julian sighed as he let the hot water run down his body , a part of him didn't want to bring up what happened last night to Ashley in hopes that things would return to the way that they were before she started acting different , the other part of him wanted to ask her about it because if there was a problem in their relationship then he wanted to fix it , he wanted to know if he was doing something wrong , if she was questioning his love for her then he'd make sure she would never doubt his love again.

A single tear rolled down his cheek , Julian didn't want to loose Ashley ; not now , not after all they had been through together. 

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As Julian walked into his and Ashley's living room he couldn't help but smile as he saw Ashley and their two dogs cuddled together on the couch. Both dogs perked up when they heard Julian take a picture, rubbing their heads Julian felt a sense of peace ; he wished it could always be like this. 

Julian easily picked up his girlfriend and sat her on his lap , he chuckled as she sleepily rubbed her eyes. 

Julian: "good morning sleepyhead" he said kissing her temple softly.

Ashley: "good morning babe" she replied nuzzling into his neck.

J: "we need to talk"Julian said turning serious. He felt Ashley tense in his arms.

A: " okay what about"? 

J: Julian frowned before replying "about last night , about why it feels like you keep trying to pull away from me".

A: " Oh Julian" she sighed , tears threatening to fall " I wish I could tell you , I really do but I can't tell you , not yet at least" she continued.

J: Julian's frown deepened " I don't understand babe , what do you mean you can't tell me something? We can talk to each other about anything" 

A: " But not this babe , not this. You'd hate me , please Julian please ddon't  make me tell you, I don't wanna loose you , I don't wanna loose you baby" she said now sobbing into his shirt , shaking her head , hoping he'd understand.

J: if Julian thought he was confused before then he was completely dumbfounded now. "Ssshhh baby sssshhh calm down , calm down baby ; I love you so much , I could never hate you" he said rubbing her back , trying to calm her down. 

Julian was at a loss for words, he didn't know what Ashley wouldn't want to tell him because she feared he would leave her.

After Ashley stopped crying Julian pulled her away from him to wipe her tears away.

"Okay babe you don't have to tell me now, you can tell me when you're ready too. This weekend let's go to my parents since we already made plans to go see them , it will get your mind off of things" he said.

Ashley nodded her head agreeing with his suggestion , in all honesty she had forgot that they had planned to go see his parents this weekend. 

The more she thought about it the more it sent a glimmer of hope in her mind that if she got away from Rob then she could fix her relationship. 

As Julian pulled her back towards his chest the more she wished that she could tell him that her heart only belonged to him.  

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Hey guys I hope you don't think Julian is being a pushover, he definitely isn't (( and you will see that in later chapters)) but I just picture Julian being sweet to his girlfriends and not cheating , just really loving and caring for them. But I try to keep all of the guys in character , espically Rob and Julian.