Thinking out loud

Anniversary Part2

When Ashley had arrived at Julian's she released her breath that she didn't even realise she was holding. Her life had changed so much recently , falling back in love with Rob, having a child with Julian, fighting with Julian, loving Rob , loving Julian, being pregnant again and trying to hold her self together through it all. It seemed like her life was a constant roller coaster with no off switch.
She had been sitting in her car when Julian came outside to check on her.
"Hey" he said giving her a hug when she got out of the car. "Hey Jules" she said back patting his back instead of returning the hug. "How has Meaghan been"? She asked as they made their way inside their home. "Good, she's grown so much already" he said smiling at Ashley "I wish I could see her more, be more a part of her life, I wish we could be a family like the one we always talked about having together" he continued.
"Jules" was all she could say before he shook his head at her.
"I know we've been through a lot recently, I screwed up drinking too much but I've been getting better" he said looking at her with regret.
"That's good Jules, I'm happy for you. I'm sorry things happened the way that they did, trust me I didn't want them to happen that way" Ashley said trying to genuinely tell him how she felt but knew it would be impossible to tell him how sorry she truly felt for everything that had happened.
"I want us to move forward Ashley, I know we can never be what we were before but I still love you so much and I know somewhere in your heart you still have to love me." he said moving closer to her and putting his hands on her waist.
"Julian I-" she started but didn't know what to say. She loved Rob and wanted to be with him but couldn't ignore the fact that her and Julian had been together happily for over 3 years and today being their 4 year anniversary.
"Jules we have had a lot of happy memories together, and you're right I still have a lot of love for you, you will always have a piece of my heart but we've been through so much." she said shakily with her eyes tearing up. Julian moved his hands up to her face and wiped her tears.
"Jules I .... I'm sorry , I'm so sorry for everything that has happened between us but I still do love Rob. He's really been there for me lately and I don't blame you Julian please I want you to know that because what I did was messed up and you didn't deserve that" she continued and couldn't stop her tears. Julian had a frown on his face now trying to take everything in that she was saying.
"We have a daughter now, a beautiful baby girl and she loves you so much Jules, I'll never ever stop you from seeing her but I ..... I don't know about us. My heart is torn in two right now and I'm so confused. I don't know what to do because I still love you but I can admit now that I never stoped loving Rob either" she said and slid down to the floor with her face in her hands sobbing.
Julian was stunned into silence but got down on the floor with her holding her body as it shook with sobs.
"I know you hate me Jules, I know you have to and I can't blame you for that" she said looking up at his frowning face.
Julian shook his head and brought her head to his chest "I could never hate you" he whispered and kissed the top of her head.
"We both did some fucked up shit to each other" he said when she stopped crying and looked up at him.
They gave each other a small smile and laughed a little before he got up and then helped her up. When they were about to hug each other Meaghan cried so they went upstairs to see about her.

------------------------------------------

Ashley smiled as she looked down at her and Julian's daughter. "Sssshhhh" she said gently picking her up and swaying back and forth to sooth her.
Julian smiled at the scene as he watched from the doorway. "You make a good mom" he said making her turn around and smile back at him. "You make a good dad" she replied back and laughed when he blushed. "She's already a daddy's girl" she said when Meaghan say Julian and reached her arms out to him.
Julian walked over and gently took Meaghan from Ashley and smiled at his daughter, she was the perfect mix of the both of them.
"Ow" he said and Ashley laughed when Meaghan grabbed his beard and tugged on it.

--------------------------------------------

It was much later on in the day when Ashley went back to Rob's with Meaghan. When she opened the door she was surprised to see Rob pacing back and forth in front of the door.
"Where the fuck have you been"? He asked scowling and his scowl deepened when Ashley put her finger to her lips and shushed him.
Rob followed her as she went upstairs with Meaghan and put her in her bed before turning out the light and closed the door behind her.
"Where the hell have you been"? He asked again making her roll her eyes at him and frown.
"I've been at Julian's" she said walking past him and to the bedroom.
"I've been calling you for the past 3 hours wondering where You've been and if you were alright" he said following closely behind her.
"I left my phone in my car. I'm sorry Rob" she said while taking off her clothes about to put on her pajamas.
Rob spun her around making Ashley gasp in surprise. "What the hell Rob" she said and they both had a scowl on their face. "What the hell did you and Julian do"? He asked.
"Nothing, we talked" she said about to turn back around to put some clothes on but Rob turned her back around "damn't Rob what"? She asked getting pissed off.
"That's bullshit. You were there for hours" he said getting angrier each second.
"Why would I lie Rob"? She asked "that's all we did" she added in.
"You lied to Julian about us" he said and put a hand on his cheek when she slapped him.
"Fuck you Rob" she said with angry tears in her eyes.
Ashley turned around quickly and put her clothes on, she grabbed a blanket and headed downstairs.
"Where are you going"? Rob asked following her out into the hallway with his hand still on his cheek.
"I'm going to sleep on the couch" was all she said continuing down the stairs and not looking back at him.
Rob sighed as he went back into his bedroom and decided a hot shower sounded nice.

----------------------------------------------

Rob had time to think everything that happened between him and Ashley as he got his shower, he regretted what he said and how he acted.
After putting on a pair of shorts after drying off he went and checked on Meaghan. He smiled seeing her peacefully sleeping and kissed her forehead before going downstairs to check on Ashley. He hoped that she would still be up so he could apologize to her. The tv was on ESPN but she was sleeping bundled up in her blanket. Rob turned off the tv and gently picked her up waking her up. She sleepily looked up at him and he could see where she had been crying. "I'm sorry baby for how I acted" he said and kissed her cheek. Ashley smiled at him sleepily "I'm sorry too Rob" she said and kissed his lips. Rob smiled down at her "let's go to bed" he said as he walked up the stairs and in his bedroom. Rob pulled the sheets back and laid her down covering her up before he walked around to his side of the bed. After turning the lights off he got in bed and pulled Ashley flush to his body before they both fell asleep.

------------------------------------------
Author's note:
Hey guys I'm sorry I'm not consistent in updating but I'm trying to get better :) I hope you enjoy this chapter