Thinking out loud

I'm sorry Jules

As the weeks and months passed by Ashley and Julian continued going to her doctors appointments together even with Julian's now busy schedule with football starting back up.
Neither Ashley or Rob made the effort to talk to one another after their last conversation, to say things were tense between them would be the understatement of the year.
Rob still held a grudge for Ashley at even mentioning Julian taking care of his kid and him not having a Damn thing to do with him/her.
Ashley now realised what she had said was wrong but that didn't mean she didn't want that to happen, she didn't want to lose Julian point blank period.

Julian was on cloud nine after waiting to tell his parents to make Ashley happy (for reasons still unknown to him) he finally told them and they were both extremely happy for the couple. With Ashley's due date being 5 months away he was starting to feel anxious and nervous. On one hand he wanted to hold his baby and couldn't wait to see him/her but on the other hand he couldn't help but worry that he wouldn't be a good enough father to his child. It didn't help that things between himself and Ashley were still rocky, it seemed like at the mention of the baby would make her angry especially when he would talk about doing things with him/her. Which is exactly why Julian cherished the time in the early mornings when he would wake up and Ashley would still be asleep, he could lift up her nightgown and rub her stomach and whisper to his unborn child. Julian smiled at these moments and each time he chanced a quick glance at his sleeping girlfriend she also had a smile on her face.
Julian knew he and Ashley loved one another, he didn't doubt that for a minute; which is why he was genuinely confused about how she was behaving towards him and there situation.

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Rob would watch Ashley and Julian interact with one another after practices or after games and instantly became jealous. Ashley was pregnant and it may or may not be his, that thought alone scared him but if it is his he was losing precious moments now that he could be sharing with Ashley. He wanted to be mad at her for suggesting Julian raise his child but he couldn't stay mad for long knowing that they were in the predicament they were in because of him.

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Ashley was at home this Sunday afternoon alone , Julian had a football game out of town in Atlanta so therefore she was free to lounge around the house without having to worry about anything at the moment.
She knew Julian would be home soon so she got set on cleaning the house before he got back home.

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Julian grinned as he stepped out of his car and headed to his front door, today had been a great day for not only him but the patriots as they had won their 8th game straight.
As he walked into his home that he shared with Ashley he was met by an empty room so he looked around for his girlfriend down stairs , she was still no where to be found so he travelled upstairs and as soon as he reached their bedroom door he saw her stretched out on their bed. He smiled warmly at the scene, she looked beautiful no matter what she was doing. Noticing she still had her slippers on he quietly crossed the room and took them off of her swollen feet , not wanting to wake her up yet Julian took off his clothes and climbed in bed beside his girlfriend. He smiled as she snuggled in closer to him when he wrapped an arm around her growing belly.

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Ashley woke up in the middle of the night nestled in a pair of strong arms, she couldn't stop her smile as she heard Julian's soft snores. Her phone's light shining caught her attention, she sighed as she moved out of Julian's embrace and went outside to see who was texting her this late at night.

Rob- can we talk?
Ashley- about what?
Rob- us? Our baby? Our future?
Ashley- Rob stop it there is no us, we don't know if it's your child and we have no future together even if it is your child
Rob- just meet me tomorrow at chi chi's bakery at 12
Rob- please

Ashley sighed knowing she was going to regret going but they had to work things out.

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Chi chi's bakery was pretty much empty besides 3 other customers eating their pastries while busy on their laptops or phones.
When Ashley arrived Rob had been sitting outside the bakery wearing a baseball hat to try and hide his identity but with his large figure she didn't see how it would help.
He waved her over and stood up as she got closer to the table that he had picked out for them.

"I bought your favorite" Rob said nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
"Thanks" Ashley whispered sitting down as Rob moved her chair out for her then moved it closer after she sat down.
"Listen I'm sorry about what I said the last time that we talked" she murmured quietly before tearing off a piece of her pastry and eating it.
"It's okay, I understand" he said after getting rid of his shock of her apologizing to him.
"I love Julian though, you have to understand that" she whispered again trying to fight back her tears.
"I know" was all Rob could think of to say as his heart broke even more than what it was before.
"I want to be in my child's life though..... If it's mine" He said looking down at his plate.
Ashley didn't say anything she just sighed but nodded her head yes.
"Ya know, part of me still hopes that we can be a family" he said looking at her sadly.
"Rob-" was all she could say before shaking her head and getting up.
"No Please Ashley I'm sorry I said that just sit back down please" he said getting up himself.
"I need to go, I need to get back to Julian" she whispered half hearted.
Rob sighed grabbing her arm gently "Ashley please look at me" he said and when she didn't he lifted her chin up making her look at him. He wiped her tears away and leaned down capturing her lips with his. They kissed for a few minutes before she pulled away "Rob you need to stop doing that" she said angrily. "Someone could see us" she whispered harshly.
"I love you" he said ignoring everything she was saying. Ashley stopped what she was doing and stared at her first love before admitting what she had been trying to hide for months now "I love you too" she sighed "but I love Julian more" she finished before turning and walking away from Rob.

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The next morning Ashley was surprised to not feel Julian laying beside her but figured he went out for a jog.
After putting on one of Julian's shirts she made Her way downstairs for some hot chocolate (something she had been craving like crazy for ever since finding out she was pregnant). After fixing her a glass of it she almost dropped it when she noticed Julian sitting on the edge of the couch.
"Babe what are you doing"? She asked going over to sit beside him.
"What's this"? He asked calmly while throwing her the paper.
"The paper" she said matter of factly but Julian didn't laugh , he was scowling at her.
Ashley was left speechless as she glanced at the front of the newspaper. Her and Rob were pictured at the cafe together and inside was word for word what was said between the two of them.
Ashley dropped her mug of hot chocolate in shock and looked at Julian horrified.
"Might not be my baby"? He questioned angrily but Ashley still just looked at him horrified.
"You and Rob are in love huh"? "I mean you have to be that's why you fucked him right"? He questioned one after the other now pacing the floor.
Finally finding her words she spoke through her tears "I'm sorry Julian" she whispered.