A Bleak Kind Of Happy.

3: Misunderstanding.

When I got to my seat I took my notebook and started doodling stuff. I do this when I need to be distracted. I wanted to forget about lunch. Not that anything bad happened. I just can't help feeling that I've lost Lucas.

I know it doesn't make sense that I feel that way.
 
I'll just blame the frickin hormones for making me feel that way about him.

  "Hey... Are you okay Maya?" Riley asked. I hadn't realized she had walked in and was seated next to me. I was lost in my doodles.

"Nope... I'm good." I said still doodling.

  "Look at me then."Riley said a bit firmly.
 
  I sighed as I closed my notebook and looked at her face. I tried to avoid her eyes. She looked like she was searching for something on my face. "What?" I asked  feeling self-conscious.

  "Your upset, do you mind telling me about it?"

  "Nothing's wrong with me." I said trying to sound chill.
 
  Riley shook her head still staring at me with those piercing brown eyes, "There's something wrong and there always has been." She gave a quiet  sigh. "I'm sorry if I haven't been there for you since I started dating Lucas. Just tell me what's wrong?"

  "Really, I'm good."

  "You always say that. Come on. Is this about Lucas." She looked at me  and closed  her eyes.
 
  I didn't say anything. What was this about anyway? Why is she acting like she's going to mentally break down.

And now she was shaking her head. "No, no, no, no." She was whispering to herself.    

  'Ummm' I was saying in my head in my head. Now I was thinking she was having a vision of the future. She looked at me with incredulous eyes.

  "Are you...jealous, Maya?"

   "What? No! I would never. I've always supported you and Lucas since. No you really don't think that." I was saying loudly slightly agitated. If I was feeling anything... It wasn't jealousy.

  "I saw the boop thing. And you stormed out of the cafeteria."

  "No it wasn't like that. I just remembered, Riles."
 
The bell rang, it was time for Calculus. Mr Banner walked into the class to take his seat in front of the class.
 
  Riley glared at me, "We're not done yet."She hissed then looked away.

  Oh okay, now my best friend is angry with me cause she thinks I'm jealous. Great just great. I'm really going to have to improve upon my expressions. 'I'm good' is giving me away.

  "Riley." I said ever so quiet but she definitely heard, "You're really angry over nothing. I. Am. Not. Jealous." I said each word carefully.
 
  I wasn't jealous. Yep, I could say that to her all day and not get tired. I shot pleading glance at Riley. She looked at me and gave me her 'You're not fooling me Maya' face and looked away.
 
  I chuckled. She rarely gave me that face. Plus I was-if she fell for it- always fooling her. Example; Am I really happy. She probably thinks I am.
 
  Riley heard that chuckle. She looked at me. Her face softer now. "After class." She said.
 
  Oh, I'd actually forgotten we were in class. Riley getting maybe angry at me for being jealous-which I'm not- is probably the most interesting thing that has happened in class since-if I'm not exaggerating- the start of high school.
 

Yep, it's that boring. I miss John Quincy Adams Middle School and Mr Matthews teaching us History. He says he misses us but now he runs some kind of business with his ever loyal best friend Sean.

  Sean's an awesome guy. I feel I relate to him. I always used to say if I had a father it'd be him.
 
  I feel much more sad. Could I be happy? Every thing I seem to think of just ends by making more sad.
 
I just stay completely oblivious to the lesson being taught. I can't wait till it's over.