A Bleak Kind Of Happy.

18: Opium.

I drew in a loud breath as I clutched on to my chest. It took me some seconds to realize I was breathing oxygen and I wasn't underwater. It must've been all a dream. I open my eyes.

I couldn't quite remember what happened before but I was sure I wasn't here at the time. I could hear beeping sounds. I looked around me; there was a drip feed injected into my arm, I realized there there were nubbins in my nose probably providing me with oxygen and I was in a blue and white hospital gown. I tried moving but my body felt numb.

I looked around the room one more time.'We're not at the beach.' I tell my self. The door opens then my mother enters and meets my eyes.

"Maya! You're awake." She rushes over to the bed I was lying on. "Oh Lord, you scared me."

"Mom? What happened." I croaked.

"Oh, dear you took an overdose of opium," she lowers her voice, "you were in a three day coma."

"What? I didn't take any opee- whatever." I wasn't sure of anything but I knew I didn't take anything like that.

"Maya,honey, you probably don't remember anything. You should get some sleep I'll call the doctor." She says softly. Wow, my mom has changed, 'honey?' She hasn't called me that I'm all my sixteen and a half years of life.

"Wait mom, where's Farkle?" I gush out suddenly as she reaches out to open the door.

"Oh Farkle, such a good guy." She says whole-heartedly . "He brought you here and called me. He's in the waiting room. Should I call him for you?"

"Um, no. Was just wondering."

"Okay I'm going now, anything you want?"

"What day is it today?"

"Wednesday."

"Thanks mom."

She nods. "Get some sleep though." Then she's out of the room.

I can't sleep. I feel bad. I know I just cost my mother her audition. She probably had to cancel it because of my negligence. Opium really? I hadn't heard of it before till some minutes ago when my mother mentioned it and now I hate it with a passion. 

I know my mom had gone for a lot of auditions and never got the part but I couldn't help hoping. She'd been so sure she'd get the part(she always is) but maybe she never got it because of my negative energy all time. This time I'd hoped a little bit but maybe it was enough to make her get the part. I just had to take opium. I just had to have that head. I just had to be deserted. Now this was all because of Farkle. 

I now remember everything that happened three days ago. Farkle made me let my guard down. I felt reckless and thought that way I'd be come happy. He made relate to him and feel quite confident. Then he left me all alone. Now it's only increased sadness I feel,regret and resentment.

All this cost me my mother's audition. Before I couldn't care less, but now that she's trying to mend our patchy past I feel like I've had a mother all my life. At least right now.